My "armor-bearer"

From the Old Testament book 1 Samuel chapter 14, verses 6 and 7:

"Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, 'Come, let's go over to te outpost of those uncircumcised fellows. Perhaps the LORD will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the LORD from saving, whether by many or by few.'

"'DO ALL THAT YOU HAVE IN MIND,' his armor-bearer said. 'GO AHEAD; I AM WITH YOU HEART AND SOUL.'"

Jonathan was the son of the king of Israel, Saul. The nation was at war and Saul was making some terrible decisions -- decisions that dishonored God. But Jonathan saw this as an opportunity to honor God, so responded in obedience. But more than Jonathan, notice the response of the man who carried his armor...

I have spent the past several months wrestling with this decision to leave Hamburg for Northwest. I have fasted, prayed, sought counsel, listened as closedly to God as possible. I have decided to move away from people who are soul-sharingly close to us. This decision effects many people, but none more than my wife and children.

All the time that I have been wrestling through this decision, Heidi's response has been, "Go wherever God is leading and I'll come along."

On our wedding day, just over 10 years ago, she made a vow, saying, "Where you go, I will go. Where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people; and your God will be my God. May God deal with me ever so severely if anything but death seperates me from you." The words came from Ruth speaking to her mother-in-law (Ruth 1:16-17). But the sentiment was from her soul. I suspect she never realized what those words would mean for her...that they would mean changing friendships, packing boxes, pouring herself out for others, getting new nursing licenses (IL state is a real pain).

She has been faithful to her words every step of the way. She is my armor-bearer. And together, we will battle the "enemy" standing strong and bringning honor to our God as we walk side-by-side.

Peace,

Matt

it's out there...

There's no going back now...this morning, during the worship gatherings, I shared the news that I will be leaving Hamburg in January. There was no way for it to not be shocking for people. But so many people responded lovingly...it really was a great time.

I'm pleased with the way that Heidi and I went through this. We worked a good process in sharing with people so that many knew before the public announcement. Those that didn't get the news were very gracious and understood that we tried but couldn't get ahold of them.

Many people made quick comments and gave hugs (yes, there are times when Matt hugs!) The affirmation was thick, which was a huge encouragement for me. Many people said something like, "We knew this day would come the first time we heard you preach...that new church is lucky."

In about 8 weeks, I'll be the new lead pastor of Northwest...that's a pretty incredible thought. I'm excited to be a part of what God is doing there.

In a couple weeks, I'll be going back out there to find housing. Rick, probably the guy who's closest to me, will be going with me. He's got a good eye for this kind of thing and he's as anal as Heidi, so she trusts his judgement...

After the rush of this morning, all was quiet around the house today. The kids took awesome naps...which made up for the 5am rise and shine! I think we fed Izak a bit too much...he's still recovering from the flu. All was good until he came into the living room whining. He came to me for comfort and snuggled up on the couch with like a really sweet kid. Then...without warning...he puked a vengence! I couldn't believe how much that kid chucked!! It was amazing! Of course it was all over me and the couch...nothing like the sweet smell of home...filled with chunks...then he felt immediately better and went on with his evening. What a kid.

That's it for today.

Peace,

Matt

the news...

This weekend I'm preaching from the old Testament story from Genesis 22. The Cliffs Notes verson is this: Abraham was promised a son, who would be the first of many decendants (so many that they would make up a new nation). Problem: Abraham was an old man and his wife was very barren (as opposed to slightly barren). They laughed all the way to the delivery room where Isaac was born. Great...God fulfilled his promise...very cool. The story I'm looking at this weekend is when God instructs Abraham to sacrifice (yes, this was in the day when animal sacrifices were made for the forgiveness of sin) his son Isaac -- not just the send-him-away-to-school sort of sacrifice...the kind with a knife and a fire. Just before Abraham is about to do it...God stops him. Abe passed the test. God honored the obedience of Abraham because he loved God more than his own son. Talk about an intense test.

There are times in our lives when God asks us to give up that which we treasure. Sometimes he stops us before we really lose it/him/her...and other times, he doesn't.

This has been one of those times for me. This leg of the journey began about 8 months ago with a stirring in my spirit. Didn't really know what to make of it, but it got my attention and brought me to a place of seeking God is a special way.

After some time, I began to identify this stirring as God preparing me to leave Hamburg. No, it couldn't be...could it?

I told Heidi what was going on, figuring she'd put a stop to things. She was pregnant with Liberty (the meaning of her name will take on more significance in a moment)...I assured her that I would not yank her from her home and closest friends any time too soon. Her response..."If God's leading us, then let's go." It's not that she was excited about leaving Hamburg, but she was open to whatever God has for us. That's true freedom.

So the journey continued. I asked several friends who have known me at various points of my journey to become part of a "kitchen cabinet" of advisors. Brenda, Larry, Denny, Jason, Mike, Matt...you're partnership in this has been huge...thank you. We prayed that God would reveal himself and the direction I should go.

I began to quietly put my name out there, sending resumes to churches that were looking for a lead pastor. Nothing...a few bites, but nothing really fit.

I was about to stop the process for a couple years when I got word back from a church near Chicago. The conversation began...and progressed. Every step, I sensed God saying, "Take the next step. Trust me." So I did.

At every step in the process, God affirmed his leadership. I also saw a church that seemed to match just about everything on my "checklist" of important values...

- outreach oriented
- open to change
- desirous of growth
- relational vs. program-driven
- desire to be relevant in a changing culture
- already turned the corner to more progressive worship gatherings
- a staff to partner with me (I'm not gifted enough to be a solo pastor!)
- an elder team to serve as strong partners in leadership

In October, Heidi and I and the kids (you might remember us blogging about a trip to Chicago and the kids' first flights) went to meet the elders and leaders in person. It was a very real trip -- I prayed to see clearly and I think He answered me. I liked what I saw.

After receiving a job offer that was contingent on affirmation from the full congregation, I prayed...and prayed...and prayed. It has been a long time since I have wrestled with God like that. I was looking for a "burning bush" (reference story of Moses in Exodus in the Old Testament) sort of epiphany...didn't happen. I wrestled well over a week.

Then I decided. Through prayer and great counsel, I accepted the position and the opportunity to candidate formally, which we did a couple weeks ago.

On Tuesday afternoon this past week, I got a call from Northwest Christian Community, letting me know that the congregation voted by a large majority, to affirm the decision of the elders. I accepted.

Following the phone call, I printed my letter of resignation from Hamburg Wesleyan and Peace of the City. I delivered the message to Greg, my friend and Senior Pastor, in person.

It's a bitter-sweet time for the Furrs. We're inside-out-excited about what lies ahead. But we are heart-broken as we say good-bye to our friends who have become family for us.

This weekend, in the worship gatherings, I will share the news with the whole community. I think most of the people we're closest to know already...we've had about a week to tell them. I think most people will be shocked a bit.

I love this community of people. I want to stay here with them. I've got a good life here -- great job with people I love, meaningful investment in God's plan, dear friends, a great little house...everything a person could want. But God is asking me if I love my life more than him. He's asking me to be obedient. It really isn't even a fraction of what Abraham experienced...but in a similar way, God wants me to love him more than anything else. And my answer is yes.

And just like God did for Abraham, I believe that out of my obedience, He will reveal himself faithful. He will provide friends (He already is). He will provide a home for my family. He will provide meaningful participation in His plan.

So that's the news. The Furrs are moving to Lake County, IL. The new faith community is called Northwest Christian Community and is in Mundelein, IL -- about 30 miles nw of Chicago. We will move toward the end of January.

I have no doubt that we will both share more as we continue to process this huge transition.

Peace on the journey,

Matt

ps - There you go, Mom, you can tell whoever you want now!! Thanks for holding it close!

on the mend...

Izak is on the mend...still a bit achy, but not chucking like he was for the past few days. If anyone tells you it's just a 24 hour bug and it will pass before you know it...don't buy it. Keep the lysol handy.

Libby seems to be getting a little of the bug, but not to the extend that Izak had it. She's got such a great personality, though, you might not realize that she's sick through the huge smiles that she regularly offers even when she doesn't feel well.

And so far, Mommy and Daddy haven't gotten sick...which is a miracle beceause we've been so close to the epicenter.

I'm at the office today working on my message for this weekend. It's particularly daunting because it is a significant weekend for us. It has to do with the big announcement that I've teased you with the past few posts. Are you ready for it?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

Can God be trusted? Is he really loving and kind? Those are a couple of the question that I'm touching on in the message this weekend. What do you think about those questions?

Enjoy the leftovers...

Matt

Thanksgiving...

So, you ready for the big news? coming soon...

Today is Thanksgiving. These are some things that I thank God for...

my wife
my son
my daughter
so many friends who love us well
our families who stand with us through so much
my sense of purpose in serving others and God
our home
I don't have to wonder where my next meal will come from
the provisions I often take for granted
the freedom to talk about Jesus and worship God
the spiritual freedom through forgiveness

I live in a country where we can often fabricate our own blessings. It's easy to work hard, make money, buy things and then label it God's blessing on us. First, I need to conitnually recognize that it is God who gave me the ability to work and earn money, so it really is His provision for me.

I also need to learn to look past material things to recognize God's blessing. For example, he blesses through wisdom that exceeds my own. He blesses through strength when I feel like rolling over and going back to bed but need to get up to help my sick son.

There is so much for which I thank God. But most of all, I thank Him for all the ways He reveals His love.

Happy Thanksgiving.

M@

teaser...

There has been some big stuff going on in the Furr house lately. Can't tell you now, though. There will be a big announcement later this week.

Heid's at work again today. I enjoy my days with the kids, but miss having her around. We have fun together as a family.

Libby's starting with some teeth, I think. She's so cute when munches on her gums...then gives you a huge full-faced smile!

Izak is a great little singer. He's always got some tune on his lips. He hasn't learned the art of singing quietly, though. He'll be up an hour at night just singing in his crib at the top of his lungs.

Son needs attention...gotta go.

Peace,

M@

10 Years!

Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal upon your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mightly flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7
**************
Today marks ten years that Heidi has been my closest friend, my beloved, my companion, my confidante, my bride. I remember that day like it was yesterday -- I was overwhelmed at the reality of marrying this woman that I loved so deeply.

Through the past ten years, we have gone through so much together. My love for her has grown and matured through trials and joys. 4 moves. 4 states. 2 kids. 8 jobs between us. 1 church plant. 2 dogs. Friends. And we've just begun.

My gratitude to God for her in my life is ovewhelming.

I love you, my beloved..

Matthew

back at it...

Today was my first day back at the office after "vacation." It was actually a pretty good day -- usually the first day back is full of catching up and trying to get unburried from the stuff that piled up while away. My awesome assistant Stacia kept it all going while I was gone -- shout out to Stacia!!

Heidi's at worship team rehearsal while I'm at home with the kids. They were in bed pretty early, so I'm essentially home alone. The quiet is nice.

tomorrow night is the Catalyst worship gathering. I'm not fully prepared yet, but know that tomorrow will provide the opportunity to catch up. My message will be centered on the story of Moses leading the Hebrew people out of captivity in Egypt. It's a huge story, but a great picture of God's grace and mercy.

So many people in this world living in bondage of one sort or another -- alcohol, drugs, work, co-dependant relationships, meterialism, etc. Instead of letting everyone just languish in their slavery, God works to set us all free. But do we really know how to live in the freedom? Sometime I think that we're afraid of the freedom.

Peace,

Matt

HOME!!!!

There isn't anything like walking in the door of your home when you've been on the road for 9 days...I love coming home! Through allergies, ear infections, colds (everyone had their turn), boogers, and butts that spent too much time in the seat of a van, we had a great time visiting friends and family in the midwest. For those of you who prayed for us during our journey, thank you. To those who shared your home, laughter, and stories, thank you.

While on the trip, there was part of me that just wanted to come home early. The kids were maxed out and so was I. I knew that being home would make it better -- at least it would seem better. But we didn't come home early...we pressed on through.

Hold on, this isn't me just bemoaning the trip like a negative nelly...I've learned something here...

There is a similar longing to be home, spiritually. Life can be tough sometimes (though there are many sweet moments, too). In those moments, there's something in my spirit that longs to be in that place that will become my home. I've never been to the other side...but I know that there will be a hook for my coat when I walk through the door.

Seeing Jesus face to face, reaffirming beautiful friendships, entering the presence of the Creator...all these things will be like home...I just won't have to unpack when I get there.

In this life, there is something deep within that already resonates with those things. It's what I feel when I laugh deeply with Rick, when I listen to my tearful friend affirm her love for me in a phone call, when I walk in the woods and hear only creation. It's what jumps within me when I close my eyes and hear a congregation of people worshipping God through music. It's what brings clarity when I learn something about God that is true. It's the feeling of gratefulness when my son grabs my hand as we walk along in the grass together. It's that spark when I meet a new friend and it feels like we've known each other longer than a day.

God has planted the seed of "home" in all of our hearts. What makes your heart jump and long to be home?

If not before, I'll see you there!

Peace,

M@

hangin' with the fam...

Izak is on the up-swing; Libby's still heading down. He's fully of buggers. Such fun. Last night, they actually got a decent night's sleep.

As usual, Heidi's awesome with them! This is why Mother's Day is huge and every father ought to go big to celebrate mothers.

The cousins are having a great time with Izak. He loves older boys, so follows them everywhere. It's nice to know that they are keeping a good eye on him so that I can catch up with my sister and BIL a little.

It's a challenge to care for my wife and kids when everything in me is crying out to run away and hide to a quiet place. I think I'm not the only guy in the world who has to be intentional about not disengaging during times of stress. Must...reject...passivity...

I guess that's as good a reminder as any that I need to stop blogging and go play a bit.

Peace,

Matt

getting better...

We're in Grand Haven now. The kids had a pretty good night, so we beat a path west as quickly as possible. Right now, we're camping out at my folks' house before heading over to sisters. At the Cary house awaits 3 boys who will quickly become heros to my 2 year old son. He loves his cousins! And tonight, he'll get to play with his girl cousin, Becca, too. He should be in his glory. That's why we're trying to get a nap in before it all hits.

The trip is having better prospects than it did yesterday. Thank you, God.

Peace,

Matt

on vacation...

well...it's not really a vacation, but I'm definately on something!

I'm reporting in from Bay City, Michigan. We're holed up at the Bennett compound. Been here since Sunday night. We pushed the kids pretty hard getting here...they were hammered when we arrived.

As is usually the case, they are both sick while we travel. Izak is working on a double ear infection (can you say, "tubes?") and Libby is beginning to cut some teethe. It's enough to make a conservative guy like me vote for medicinal marijuana...not for them, for me!

Tomorrow morning, we head out for Grand Haven, on the west side of the state. Should be able to get there by naptime...or we're dead meat. My family is there and anxious to see the kids...I'm sure they have positive feelings about seeing me, too...but the real payoff is the kids. However, if we have a crappy night (like last night) then we may put off that journey for another day...again, it's not fair to push the kids too hard.

I'm about 10 days out from our 10th wedding anniversary. What an incredible 10 years!!

That's all I got...

Matt

packin' bags...

...again. I spent last night at a retreat for the staff and board of the church I'm serving. What a great group of men and women! I love hanging out with them. And their vision...I love it! Go big or go home!! Here we go!

Tonight, I'm trying to clean off my desk so that it won't look quite so bad when I return to work in 10 days. Heidi and I take off for a mid-west tour of friends and family. Should be a great time! I'm looking forward to visiting, sleeping, and changing the view. I also love to drive. If I don't take a road trip every few months I get a little stir crazy.

I got to shoot a 12-guage shotgun today for the first time! That was very cool. A buddy taught me how to be safe and then chucked oyster shells over the lake...make-shift clay pigeons. I didn't hit a single one...but it was great! Heidi...can I...never mind...

Time to go home...I see wood on my desk. The leaf blower really does a number on cleaning my office!

Peace,

M@

great friends...

I've got incredible friends. I got a phone call yesterday from one of them CM...it could, perhaps, be one of the most meaningful (beyond words, really) interactions that I've ever had. The community that God has for us really is a sacred thing...and it was created to last for eternity. What a gift.

Last night was the Catalyst worship gathering. It was good...a little jumbled up, but good. One of the things that I love about that group is that it's more about the community together than it is the smoothness of the production. Even when there are technical difficulties, that's okay...we're all in this together.

My message was beginning a series on our roots as Christ-followers. Our story doesn't begin with Jesus; it goes back to the beginning, when God, the Creator, began to invovle himself in this world. The story I began with was about Abraham and his test of faith.

Get this, a father, Abraham, who had already proven his faithfulness to God in many ways, was put to the test by being asked to sacrifice his only son. That sounds pretty grousome these days -- we don't even like to think about a sacrifice of a lamb or goat. It was just as gruesome then. But instead of running away, this man knew that Isaac was a gift from God and that he would return home with his one, one way or another. What incredible faith.

God asks me to give him everything. I know what it is that he wants, he wants my heart...that my love for him should rise above my love for anything or anyone else. To say that isn't easy is an understatement. It's not supposed to be easy...or even pleasant. When he pries my hands from around my treasure, whatever it is, it hurts.

But in the end, it's so worth it. Because in the end, he fills whatever void is left...many times over. He desires to be my pleasure and fulfillment. He desires to be worshipped by me without any hinderance or reservation.

My sacrifice is not made in a void. He went first. Just like God provided a lamb for the sacrifice to spare Isaac's life in the story, he also provides a substitute in the life and death of his only, beloved son, Jesus. He went first. Now, in response, he calls me to do the same.

I can explain more soon.

Peace,

Matt

days after...

I'm sort of a political junkie...Tuesday night was my Super Bowl...I was up until about 230 watching results, listening to pundits, waiting for Vinatari to kick the last-second field goal...again. It was great and well worth it! And unlike 2000, when the ball came to a rest on the goalpost and we had to wait a month to see which side if fell off on, it only bounce off the post and then through...all the drama without the wait.

I'm pleased that Bush won. One of the reasons is that I think he's a good man. Another is that I love to see pundits and pollsters be wrong...they had Kerry in the White House before any polls had even closed! What's up with that!?!? I love a come-from-behind victory.

How about the Karl Rove guy, huh? That guys owns Washington this week...

Did you see Dan Rather? That guy was tripping over himself to explain why CBS wasn't calling Ohio when NBC had already taken the plunge and called the election for Bush. It was pretty funny. Nice work Tom. Dan...time to go. Peter, the bell tolls...

What's the new generation of news anchors going to be like? Will they value a particular style? Will they be more likely to be candid about their leanings on issues and policies? Will they value "connecting" with the views or will they continue to be the professional, "nuetral," and all-knowing characters that we watch now? Will they acknowledge that the internet is changing news and play along or continue to bemoan the changes that culture is putting upon them?

Is the nation really as divided as the pundits say? There are certainly people who feel very strongly about either side of the issues. But there are also a whole lot of people out there who vote because they've always voted that way. Is that really division or is that just good democracy.

In many ways, democracy is at its best when there are strong opinions and ideas on both sides of the aisle. It's systems like communism, socialism, facism that produce uniform thinking. But democracy requires two or more ideas competing, challenging, and refining each other.

I'm going on vacation in a few days!! I can't wait. We'll be doing mid-west tour of friends and family. I'm hoping that Heidi and I can ditch the kids at my sister's house and go to the inn where we spent our first night as husband and wife.

We've been married ten years on the 19th of this month!! I truly do love her more deeply and passionately than I did on that day when we first exchanged vows. What an incredible woman. She deserves more than to be a part of a blog that covers many thoughts...I'll do a special tribute blog to her closer to the date. Just let it be known that I love her so deeply that words won't do it justice.

Big day...study, meetings, teaching at Catalyst worship gathering tonight. Hey, check out the Catalyst web site at www.wchamburg.org/catalyst. Todd did a great job getting it up and going. It will grow and change, but it's a fantastic job.

Peace,

Matt

all saints' day...

Not that I'm doing anything special for all saints' day...

At home with the kids today. Heidi's at Roswell, caring for people with cancer. She's awesome at that...

Bills won yesterday...it was a great time at the game. They will still have a pretty crappy season, but I was there for one of the few wins! Had a fun time with Rick and Carrie.

Happy birthday, Rick!! 37 seems pretty old from my end of the 30s...;-)

Tomorrow is the Super Bowl...at least from a political standpoint. Those guys and their staff must be just wiped out from the campaign. There must be a pretty huge crash when it finally is over. I think I'd nap for a day and a half...

Don't have many thoughts today...Izak's watching Bing and Bong...Libby's asleep for now...and I'm trying to stay awake...

Peace,

M@