I had a great breakfast with a couple of guys who are a bit further down the leadership road than I am. An important part of our conversation was about "emotional intelligence." It's an intriguing notion that I'd like to explore for a few days.
Thanks to Facebook, we've got a number of IQ tests available to us. For the most part, we're trying to measure how smart we are. Emotional intelligence is measuring something different. It would seem that there are 2 pieces to EI:
1. how well we know our own selves
2. how well we read and understand the emotional selves of the people around us
Why does EI matter? Let me toss out a couple key reasons:
1. for most leaders, EI will become their ceiling - their effectiveness at leading others will hinge less on the leadership skills they develop over time and more on their ability to "know thyself" and others.
2. our personal emotion (and I'd even say spiritual) health rides on our capacity to know ourselves - our faith journey cannot be distinguished from our journey toward emotional adulthood. It will impact our perspective on God and His role in our lives.
Do a quick little test for yourself...ready?
On a scale of 1-5, rate yourself in these ways:
1=never
2=rarely
3=sometimes
4=mostly
5=always
1. I take time to reflect on how I respond to others or present ideas during a meeting.
2. I eagerly invite others to give me their impressions of my motives and growth points based on our interactions.
3. I know when I'm reacting in fear or pride during a conversation.
4. I consistently take the emotional temperature in a room and tailor my response accordingly.
5. It matters to me how my interactions impact others during a meeting or conversation.
Add your score and see where you fall...
5-7 Have you ever read Dilbert? You know the manager? Yeah...
7-14 There are probably some great growth steps for you to take in the area of EI.
15-22 You're growing in this area and are probably eager to grow some more.
23-25 Yeah, right...have you ever read Dilbert? You know the manager?
The great thing about emotional intelligence, is that we can all take some steps of growth, if we determine to. So where are you? And do you want to grow your EI IQ?
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3 comments:
17---
I don't disagree that Emotional Intelligence is important. It is valuable/necessary to pay attention to what you do/say and why... but I do think we gotta always be careful about too much "self" stuff. Even when it's with good motivations, our selves can get in the way of what God has for us and who He wants us to be.
Daniel Goleman, author and scholar whose expertise is EI, arues that just one cognitive ability distinguished those who were excellent at very high levels of leadership: "big picture" thinking. "But with this one exception, intellectual or technical superiority played no role in leadership success." EI refers to personal qualities and interpersonal conduct like initiative, empathy, adaptability and persuasiveness. Rather than focusing on self things, other-centeredness lies at the core. Fortunately these are things that God's Spirit seems to influence (do you ever recall Paul laying hands on anyone to become smarter?) and grow the more we allow Him to work!
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