until we are parted by death...

On the big day when the bride wears white and the groom shaves and puts on the tux, you don't think much about the reality of the words, "Until we are parted by death." Most of who are married have said them. And we all acknowledge that someday our death will be a reality.

Today, I performed a small wedding ceremony for a couple who will, unless God intervenes in a big way, experience the reality of those words sooner rather than later.

B was diagnosed with cancer late last week. She was in remission, but it has come back. She begins chemo therapy tomorrow. The doctors say that if the chemo works, she'll live another year, maybe two.

I stood in front of them and offered the words for them to repeat. "In sickness and in health" and "Until we are parted by death." Everyone in the room knew the reality, but none moreso than the couple who looked into each other's eyes and made a commitment to be there...no matter what.

The thought of loosing Heidi to death breaks my heart. I watched my mother live in that reality when my dad died unexpectedly at 41. My heart has been bound to this woman forever. To lose her would be to lose part of me.

Marriage is supposed to be that way. It's God's purpose.

But the pain of loss isn't the end. My perspective on life doesn't end with the funeral. There is pain. But I won't grieve as one without hope. The hope I have is that Heidi and I will be united for ever in eternity as we are in God's presence.

In light of the reality of "until we are parted by death" some of the little things don't seem quite so important. Do I really need to prove that I'm right (which I am so very painfully few times)? Are my wants really all that big a deal? I have but a short time in this life to serve her and express my deepest love to her...why get sidetracked by things that don't matter.

It's good to be reminded of these things. Today was no typical wedding. B's mortality is no more real than mine or Heidi's. May our commitment also be no less real or poignant.

Heidi, I love you.

Peace,
M@