Ted Haggard

I've been watching as the events unfold around the secret life of Ted Haggard. I have some thoughts on it. But as I read this on the blog called Out of Ur, I thought these reflections are as good as could be written. Gordon MacDonald is a man who has lived in places that Ted and his family are about to travel. He speaks from a profound and person experience of failure and grace. Here's what he wrote:

The Haggard Truth: Gordon MacDonald on the lies all-too-easily believed

What are Christian leaders to make of the spectacularly painful experience of watching Ted Haggard this past week? The president of the National Association of Evangelicals and pastor of giga-church New Life Community in Colorado Springs, Colorado, gradually admitted to purchasing methamphetamines and the services of a male prostitute. We asked Leadership editor-at-large Gordon MacDonald to reflect on what we should learn from this episode.

It is difficult beyond description to watch Ted Haggard’s name and face dragged across the TV screen every hour on the news shows. But as my friend, Tony Campolo said in an interview last week, when we spend our lives seizing the microphone to speak to the world of our opinions and judgments, we should not surprised when the system redirects its spotlight to us, justly or unjustly, in our bad moments.

We are still in the process of learning what has actually transpired over the past many months on the secret side of Ted’s life. In just the last few hours the leadership of New Life Church has announced that he has been asked to resign. His ministry at New Life Church and as leader of the NAE is over.

I’ve spent more than a little time trying to understand how and why some men/women in all kinds of leadership get themselves into trouble whether the issues be moral, financial, or the abuse of power and ego. I am no stranger to failure and public humiliation. From those terrible moments of twenty years ago in my own life I have come to believe that there is a deeper person in many of us who is not unlike an assassin.

This deeper person (like a contentious board member) can be the source of attitudes and behaviors we normally stand against in our conscious being. But it seeks to destroy us and masses energies that—unrestrained—tempt us to do the very things we “believe against.” If you have been burned as deeply as I (and my loved ones) have, you never live a day without remembering that there is something within that, left unguarded, will go on the rampage. Wallace Hamilton once wrote, “Within each of us there is a herd of wild horses all wanting to run loose.”

It seems to me that when people become leaders of outsized organizations and movements, when they become famous and their opinions are constantly sought by the media, we ought to begin to become cautious. The very drive that propels some leaders toward extraordinary levels of achievement is a drive that often keeps expanding even after reasonable goals and objectives have been achieved. Like a river that breaks its levy, that drive often strays into areas of excitement and risk that can be dangerous and destructive. Sometimes the drive appears to be unstoppable. This seems to have been the experience of the Older Testament David and his wandering eyes, Uzziah in his boredom, and Solomon with his insatiable hunger for wealth, wives and horses. They seem to have been questing—addictively?—for more thrills or trying to meet deeper personal needs, and the normal ways that satisfy most people became inadequate for them.

When I see a leader who becomes stubborn and rigid, who becomes increasingly less compassionate toward his adversaries, increasingly tyrannical in his own organization, who rouses anger and arrogance in others, I wonder if he is not generating all of this heat because he is trying so hard to say “no” to something surging deep within his own soul. Are his words and deeds not so much directed against an enemy “out there” as they are against a much more cunning enemy within his own soul. More than once I have visited with pastors who have spent hours immersed in pornography and then gone on to preach their most “spirit-filled” sermons against immorality a day or two later. It’s a disconnect that boggles the rational mind.

No amount of accountability seems to be adequate to contain a person living with such inner conflict. Neither can it contain a person who needs continuous adrenalin highs to trump the highs of yesterday. Maybe this is one of the geniuses of Jesus: he knew when to stop, how to refuse the cocktail of privilege, fame and applause that distorts one’s ability to think wisely and to master self.

More than once we’ve seen the truth of a person’s life come out, not all at once, but in a series of disclosures, each an admission of further culpability which had been denied just a day or two before. Perhaps inability to tell the full truth is a sign that one is actually lying to himself and cannot face the full truth of the behavior in his own soul.

But then all sin begins with lies told to oneself. The cardinal lies of a failed leader? I give and give and give in this position; I deserve special privileges—perhaps even the privilege of living above the rules. Or, I have enough charm and enough smooth words that I can talk anything (even my innocence) into reality. Or, so much of my life is lived above the line of holiness that I can be excused this one little faux pas. Or, I have done so much for these people; now it’s their time to do something for me—like forgiving me and giving a second chance.

I am heart-broken for Ted Haggard and his wife and family. I cannot imagine the torture they are living through at this very moment. Toppled from national esteem and regard in a matter of hours, they must adjust to wondering who their real friends are now. They have to be asking how these events—known by the world—will affect their children. Mrs. Haggard will not be able to go the local WalMart without wondering who she may bump into when she turns into Aisle 3 (A reporter? A church member? A critic?). Both Haggards will face cameras every time they emerge from their home in the next few days until the media finds another person with whom to have its sport.

The travel, the connections, the interviews, the applause of the congregation, the organizational power, the perks and privileges, the honor: gone! The introit to people of position/power: gone! The opportunity to say an influential word each day into the lives of teachable younger people: gone! The certainty that God has anointed one for such a time as this: gone? And what will grow each day is the numbing realization of regret and loss. In time they will be approached by people who will say in one way or another, “I used to trust you, but what you’ve done has made me very angry….you’ve turned my son away from the gospel….I thought I knew you, but I guess I didn’t.” It will be a long time before either of the Haggards feel safe again. Suffering over this will last most of a lifetime even after some sort of restoration is rendered. How I wish this could all be lifted from them.

Perhaps there will come a day down the pathway when there will be some kind of return to influence. But right now it is—or should be—a long way in the distance.

Among my prayers is that the leadership of New Life Church will not assume that “restoration” means getting Ted back into the pulpit as soon as possible. The worst thing in the world would be to raise his hopes that just because he models a contrite spirit he can return to public life in the near future. He, for his own sake, must take a long time to work through the causative factors in this situation. He will not resolve whatever is wrong in his own soul by going back to work. He and his wife must set aside a long, long time to allow their personal relationship to heal. Forgiveness is a long healing, not a momentary one. And there are those five children. Thinking of them makes me want to weep. And then there are countless people in and beyond their church who must take a long time to figure out what all of this means. No, the worst things Ted’s friends and overseers can do is to try and bring him back from this prematurely. The best thing they can do is ask him to retreat into silence with those he loves the most and listen—to God, to trusted elders.

The statement issued by the NAE Executive Committee late Friday afternoon seems flat to me. It appears to have been written by savvy PR people who wanted to say all the nice and appropriate things which might mollify the media and cause no heartburn for the lawyers. The burden of the statement seems to be that the NAE is already on to the question of who the next leader will be. The fact is that, all too often, we have seen the President of NAE on the news and talk shows speaking as the leader of so-called 33 million evangelicals. I’m not sure that most of us were polled as to whether or not we wanted Ted Haggard (or anyone) speaking for us. I know that last time I felt safe about anyone speaking for evangelicals as a whole was when Billy Graham talked on our behalf. But, as of late, an illusion was permitted to grow: that the NAE was a well-organized, highly networked movement of American evangelicals headed by Ted Haggard who, when he spoke, spoke for all of us. Now, unfortunately, that voice has misspoken, and our movement has to live with the consequences.

I have a fairly poor batting average when it comes to predicting the future. But my own sense is that the NAE (as we know it) will probably not recover from this awful moment. Should it? Leaders of various NAE constituencies are likely to believe that their fortunes are better served by new and fresher alliances.

Ever since the beginning of the Bush administration, I have worried over the tendency of certain Evangelical personalities to go public every time they visited the White House or had a phone conference with an administration official. I know it has wonderful fund-raising capabilities. And I know the temptation to ego-expansion when one feels that he has the ear of the President. But the result is that we are now part of an evangelical movement that is greatly compromised….identified in the eyes of the public as deep in the hip pockets of the Republican party and administration. My own belief? Our movement has been used. There are hints that the movement—once cobbled together by Billy Graham and Harold Ockenga—is beginning to fragment because it is more identified by a political agenda that seems to be failing and less identified by a commitment to Jesus and his kingdom. Like it or not, we are pictured as those who support war, torture, and a go-it-alone (bullying) posture in international relationships. Any of us who travel internationally have tasted the global hostility toward our government and the suspicion that our President’s policies reflect the real tenants of Evangelical faith. And I might add that there is considerable disillusionment on the part of many of our Christian brothers/sisters in other countries who are mystified as to where American evangelicals are in all of this. Our movement may have its Supreme Court appointments, but it may also have compromised its historic center of Biblical faith. Is it time to let the larger public know that some larger-than-life evangelical personalities with radio and TV shows do not speak for all of us?

And so I pray: Lord and Father, how sad you must be when you see the most powerful and the weakest of your children fall prey to the energy of sin and evil. There is nothing any one has ever done that we –each of us—is not capable of doing. So when we pray for our brother, Ted Haggard, we pray not out of pity or self-righteousness but with a humble spirit because we stand with him on level ground before the cross. Father, give this man and his wife the gift of your grace. Protect them from the constant accusations of the evil one who will seek to deny them sleep, tempt them to talk too much to the public, arouse conflict between them as a couple and with their children. Send the right people into their lives who can provide the correct mixture of hope and healing love. Deliver them from people who will curry their favor by telling them things they should not hear. Restrain them from making poor judgments in their most fearful moments.

Lord, be present to the leaders and people of the New Life Church. And to the NAE leadership which has to live with the side-effects of this tragedy. And to people in the evangelical tradition who are wondering today who they can trust. What more can we pray for? You know all things. We so very little. Amen.

go, Tigers...and more...

or it might be less...

I've stopped drinking Diet Coke for a little while. Doing something with a friend. Don't know when I'll pick it up again, but for now, I'm dry. Sure, I can drink other drinks...but there's nothing like a cold diet coke on a cold fall day...ahhh...

There are times when I get Diet Coke "saturated"...I start to feel it in terms of being tired more than I should and it just doesn't taste as good. So with this little hiatus, I think I've got a good energy level back and I'm sure it will taste good when I drink it again.

I may stay off caffein altogether. I'm not making any pledges or anything, but we'll see;-)

Heidi and I have been watching season 2 of Scrubs...perhaps the best show on tv. It is totally under-rated. I love the writing and the characters are well-developed. Rent it at the library and give it a try.

Levi is about to enter the world of the walking. He's taking a few steps at a time now. Life is about to get busy for us! The problem is, he's not much for taking a bonk on the noggen. So...when he falls, it usually involves crying. Oh, well...he'll toughen up one way or another.

My sister and her family are coming for a visit this weekend. Just a quickie, but it will be great to see them. I love seeing the boys...and Izak idolizes his cousins. Very fun to see.

I don't feel good about any of my choices for governor of IL. I'm usually right in there when it comes to voting and politics...this is the first time my stomache has turned to the point I don't feel good about making a choice. Not even sure who to write in...Here's to Mickey Mouse!

Well...there's a little brain dump for the morning. Back to work...

Peace,

M@

can't keep up...

Just keeping up with life these days is keeping me busy...thus not much by way of posting.

As of today, all of our children have an age...no one is "zero" any more -- that's how Izak described Levi. But today, our youngest turns one...incredible!

A couple days ago, our oldest, Izak, turned 4. He's such a little boy, now...past toddler, that's for sure. I love interacting with him, laughing with him, and talking with him. He's a gift.

We had a party on Sunday. Both of the boys were celebrated by friends and family. What a gift to have a growing community here who will share life and party with us.

I stayed up late Monday to watch the Bears. Though I'm dead tired now, it was worth it to see that game. Fun to be in Chicago this year...so far.

There's a quick update.

Peace,

M@

breaks=good

Yeah...was driving home from the store this morning when I sensed a lot of play in the breaks of my car. Play...as in they didn't work...you should have seen the face of the lady in the minivan on the corner...

couple hours late, I'm back on the road...driving AND breaking!

Being The Church

Catalytic Conversations: A beautiful and messy kingdom.

By Marshall Shelley on Mission

Leadership editor Marshall Shelley is in Atlanta this week for the Catalyst Conference, where 9,000 mostly younger leaders of churches are meeting to discuss ministry in today’s culture. Here’s his first report.

Right now I’m sitting in the balcony of the Performing Arts Center, where in a few minutes an informal “unplugged” session will feature a conversation between neo-church pastors Chris Seay of Ecclesia in Houston and Rick McKinley of Imago Dei Community Church in Portland, Oregon, and a Rwandan pastor whose name I don’t know.

To the crowd of 300 or so, he [McKinley] offered a concise and provocative discussion of the relationship of the church to the Kingdom of God. This was theology, imminently practical theology.

“As pastors, we are tempted to build the church,” he said. “So we send out postcards to targeted Zip codes and we promote church programs.” But that misses the point, he argued. “Our job isn’t to build the church. We’re supposed to BE the church, and build the kingdom.” He emphasized that the kingdom is to be experienced NOW, on earth, as Christians exemplify godly living, but he also pointed out, as the recent school shootings demonstrate, that the kingdom is also “not yet.” God’s kingdom won’t be realized in its fullness as long as such sin characterizes our world.

He identified why many U.S. churches don’t “get” the kingdom. The first reason is our individualistic culture. Ours is a “me and Jesus” spiritual life, disconnected from Creation, environment, relationships, and our surrounding community. Another reason is our tendency toward dualism: church vs. culture; sacred vs. secular; spiritual vs. physical. And ignoring the integration of those elements.

McKinley acknowledges the importance of Christ’s atonement for the forgiveness of individuals, but as he emphasized, “The best expression of the church is NOT what happens on Sunday morning. It’s what happens in the world during the week. And that’s not something you can market.”

His most provocative statements focused on the Christian’s calling to love their neighbors, even if those neighbors don’t respond to Christ or clean up their act. He told of his church’s messy efforts to love those with addictions, mental illnesses, and other conditions that aren’t easily cleaned up.

“We’re not called to change people’s behavior; we’re called to love them whether they change or not. It’s up to God to change them.”

After the lab, hallway conversations were discussing how you can “love the addicted” without “enabling” their dysfunction and thus perpetuating their addiction.

If this is indicative of the level of conversation, this year’s Catalyst is embracing both theology and practice, and getting to the heart of the Christian calling.
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What do you think?

new member of the family...

For the past many years, we've been having trouble with our minivan. We've thought that this repair will be the one that fixes the problems. Then two months later, it's another thing that's taking money from the bank account.

It's just been too much. So yesterday, we got rid of the trouble and took advantage of 0% financing on a new Dodge Caravan. It's red and has the basics we were looking for.

We haven't always done car-buying well for one reason or another. But this time, I think we did it right...we sought godly counsel, prayed, researched, walked away a few times, and made a good decision. We've learned from past mistakes and applied them in this situation. I'm pleased with the process, as long as it was.

I wanted to just get it done earlier so we could move on. I also thought about getting a very upgraded one...with all the bells and whistles. But you know what? Those bells and whistles don't make it any more than just a van to drive around in. And they cost us a lot more...the ability to enjoy a few dates a month, the flexibility for Heidi to not work if she needs to call off, saving, and giving. Those costs just aren't worth it so us. So we made a good choice.

Maybe I'll get a picture up sometime here...

M@

catching up...

mostly...It's been a crazy week or so. Here's a rundown with potential commentatry...

- I can't stand the Yankees...but the multiple post is more of a reflection of my own impatience in not waiting for blogger to download before I tell it to try again;-) Though, in case I didn't make my point clearly...I can't stand the Yankees!

- Heidi, the kids, and I traveled to Michigan last Thursday to be with her family and for the the memorial service to honor Grandma Bennett. It went well. The kids did great in the van (with dvd players!).

- The service on Saturday went well. Grandma was honored. The family was comforted. And God was lifted up as the giver of life. I was glad to be a part of it.

- On the drive to Michigan, I got a call that Mrs. Nguyen (pronounced 'win') died. She has been a part of Northwest for several years and has been living with her daughter and son-in-law, who are Northwesters, too. Her funeral would be Sunday afternoon.

- Mrs. Nguyen's and the Doan's small group stepped up during this time. Even though I was not there, they were well cared for. That's community, baby! I love to see that at work.

- After the memorial service in Michigan, I hopped in my mil's yellow VW Beetle and drove to Chicago (hey, it gets great mileage as a diesel 5-speed) in time for the viewing. It was a neat time to connect with the family and plan for the service on Sunday.

- Sunday morning was special, too. Northwest is helping a new Korean church by letting them use our space Sunday afternoons. The congregation was introduced to Pastor Choi and his family during the 1030 worship gathering. People were excited. Rev. Choi and his family gave us a gift in song...they played and sang Nearer My God To Thee. Even though the words were in Korean, the Spirit of unity was present and was a gift to us. Very cool.

- The afternoon funeral went well. Another cultural experience as Mrs. Nguyen and her family are Vietnamese. It was very special.

- After that service and a brief stop at the dinner prepared, I went hopped back into the VW and drove back to Michigan to get my family. I laid down to sleep by 2am and got to sleep until about 7 when I woke up to kiss on the cheek by my oldest son...what a great way to wake up...

- We were on the road by 10am and heading back to Chicago. We beat rush-hour traffic in the city and where playing in our own back yard by 3.

- Since that time, we've been examining the options of getting a new van. Ours has had regular trouble and we're done dealing with it. I think we found something that will work...but we're still praying for wisdom and God's leadership in this process.

So...that's the scoop. It's been a whirlwind for sure...but very good, too. I'm excited about the cross-cultural implications of supporting Good News Church (the Korean congregation) as they reach a group of people in our community that Northwest never will. I love that. We/I will learn much, no doubt.

Thanks for praying for us during the past week.

Peace,

Matt

I hate...

...the Yankees...not personally...but as a team. I hate that they can buy themselves out of a management crisis. I hate that it works just about every year.

I also hate that the Red Sox rolled over and played dead since August. Come on, Theo...what will the costume be this year?

So this post-season, guess who I'm pulling for? Anyone playing those dang Yankees!!

M@

I hate...

...the Yankees...not personally...but as a team. I hate that they can buy themselves out of a management crisis. I hate that it works just about every year.

I also hate that the Red Sox rolled over and played dead since August. Come on, Theo...what will the costume be this year?

So this post-season, guess who I'm pulling for? Anyone playing those dang Yankees!!

M@

I hate...

...the Yankees...not personally...but as a team. I hate that they can buy themselves out of a management crisis. I hate that it works just about every year.

I also hate that the Red Sox rolled over and played dead since August. Come on, Theo...what will the costume be this year?

So this post-season, guess who I'm pulling for? Anyone playing those dang Yankees!!

M@

random thoughts...

I'm not even sure they qualify as thoughts, but here goes...

- what a great time this past weekend! What a gift for me to baptize Dennie during our worship gathering. She's a lady who is turned on in her faith and excited to follow Jesus. Right after she was baptized, her son, Sean, was, too. I love this stuff!!

- After worship, a bunch of Northwesters had a party. We grilled, played, jumped, ate, chased kids, got to know new friends and reconnected with old ones. It was a good day.

- Tomorrow Heidi, the kids, and I will head to Michigan for the memorial for Heidi's grandmother. It will be a special time with family, no doubt.

- Kevin's gone for a month on a sabbatical. It's about 2 years behind schedule for him, but it's well-deserved and (I hope) profitable for him. It will be strange not having him around for the month.

- one fantasy football team is doing quite well (2nd place) and other stinks (last place). I made some roster changes and we should be in good shape for this coming weekend.

After a late night elders' meeting, that's all I got...

Peace,

M@

sacred moment

...and the little immigrant girl was ushered into the presence of the King. And for the first time, she saw His face clearly. She saw His smile. She knew His love without hinderance. And the little girl knew she was Home.

Good-bye, Grandma. It's been a long trip...but you're home.

quickie...

Several thoughts about several things...probably not much actually useful...we'll see...

- Heidi, the kids, and I will be driving to Bay City, MI tomorrow after worship. Grandma rallied a couple weeks ago, but seems to be making her final leg of the journey through this world. There are some things worth saying before that times comes. So we travel...

- Some great stuff is going on at Northwest. God's grace is showing up huge, which is always awesome! We'll be baptizing a couple people next weekend...I love that! There are some things that are a real challenge...but the dirty little secret is that I even love the hard stuff! I guess you'd say I found my niche...

- I've got two fantasy football teams. It happened sort of fast, but I like it and we're doing two. I plan on winning both...with one hand tied behind my back...just in case any of my oponents are check in on me here...be scared.

- I'm frustrated that the Red Sox have laid such a big turd on the end of their season. It was theirs to lose...and they are. And on top of that...I hate the Yankees...arghhh.

- Played nine holes this morning with a neighbor. It was good to get out and swing the club. I swung it a few too many times...but it was still fun. There's a cheap cow pasture down the road from us...good times.

- I'm listening to Levi jumping in his crib. He's nuts! Very charming, but nuts. He's standing...even a little without support. I keep trying to push him down, but he stands up anyway...punk.

- Heidi rocks as a wife. Just thought I'd put that in there. She really does.

- Kevin's a great partner in ministry. I'm glad he's here...and that I'm here, too. We work hard together...I think it's good. Props to you, Mr. Parido...

- I like ice cream. My kids like ice cream. Not sure if it's dna...or that ice cream is just good.

- I'm having a hard time getting over a little hump in my weight goals. Down 29 pounds for 2 weeks now...pushing...hard...for...30. But humps like this are a part of the process. I'm not discouraged, just addicted to meeting my goals! The running is going well. I'm running over 3 miles without passing out! I'm not breaking any land speed records, but hey...I'm still chubby and I'm out there tearing it up.

- I love that it's football season. Colder weather. fun games. My wife is an animal about football...I love that, too. Go Pats! Go State!

I've said my piece. Tomorrow as a part of worship, we will take some time to remember September 11, 2001. We will also pray for those who work hard to protect us daily. Should be a special time. It's not the whole service, but I think it's important for us to remember.

Peace,

M@

...at what cost?

I'm an optimist. It's a disease (thanks, Patty) at times. And I tend to dream big. "Dream big" can mean any number of things depending on the situation, but it usually involved going for something that is "impossible." And on top of that, I believe one of the ways that God has gifted me through His Spirit is with eyes of faith -- I see Him at work even when others might miss it.

I started dreaming big about Northwest before we even hit the ground 19 months ago. I believe that God is desiring to use us to reach our community with the profound message of love, grace, and hope through Jesus. That's my assumption in moving forward.

Shortly after beginning work here, I would daydream (not necessarily Spirit-led) about a different building...something with more visibility (how many conversations I've had with people who had no idea a church was where we are), cooler look/feel, and more room to grow numerically. As I drive home each day, I pass by such a building. It's a big, sqare, brick, box of a building. Perfect. I've fantacized about that building for about 18 of the last 19 months. Someday, it would be great if that put that building up for sale...you know, in a few years when we'll be looking to move or build or something.

Then it happened. I was leaving the office one Saturday afternoon, allowing my fantasy to take hold in my mind. Turning the corner, I shouted outloud to no one in particular, "Oh, NO!!!" There is was. a real estate sign in the front of the building. No, not now...we're not ready. I'm not ready. It's too soon...

I thought more about it. I talked with God about it. My mind often wandered. I called the agent who said they were simply leasing the space...but try making an offer and see what happens. I fantacized some more. Tried to dismiss it. Couldn't.

The other day, I was driving by and the doors were open. It's a sing...go in, Matt. So I did. It was even more perfect than I thought it would be. So many of the ideas I had in my head would work perfectly in that building. Crap!! To the guy with me, I jokingly referred to it as "pastor porn" - something I would fantasize about but only to be distracted, never to be satisfied.

I thought. I prayed. I desired. I came up with a plan as to how we could actually make it work. And I honestly think we could. But then, as clear as day, the Spirit said this...you could do it, but then you'll have to care a lot about stuff that you don't have to care much about right now. Namely, I would have to care a lot about money -- who is giving, where we are tight, how much more we need. I'd start to think of new people in terms of giving. I'd start to cast vision, not to lead people, but to increase giving. I'd teach about money and finances in order to get more, not to lead the people into greater faithfulness and trust in God. I could do it...but at what cost?

Yeah...it's a great building. It would be great for us in many ways. But my dream is so much bigger than a building. It's not what a church looks like, my dreams are about what a church is becoming...who the people are. I care a lot about those things. those are the things I want keeping me up at night.

Doesn't mean we won't ever go for things like a bigger and more useful building. But that's probably a ways off. There's a way that I want us to do life together...and I'm not willing to give that up...that's too much of a cost for me.

Peace,

M@

nonviolence

I read this on sojourners' web site. I thought it was an interesting article about nonviolence in an age of terrorism. What do you think?
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Nonviolence and the strategy against terrorism
by David Cortright

In the months after 9/11, Jim Wallis challenged peace advocates to address the threat of terrorism. “If nonviolence is to have any credibility,” he wrote, “it must answer the questions violence purports to answer, but in a better way.” Gandhian principles of nonviolence provide a solid foundation for crafting an effective strategy against terrorism. Nonviolence is fundamentally a means of achieving justice and combating oppression. Gandhi demonstrated its effectiveness in resisting racial injustice in South Africa and winning independence for India. People-power movements have since spread throughout the world, helping to bring down communism in Eastern Europe and advancing democracy in Serbia, Ukraine, and beyond. The same principles - fighting injustice while avoiding harm - can be applied in the struggle against violent extremism.

Bush administration officials and many political leaders in Washington view terrorism primarily through the prism of war. Kill enough militants, they believe, and the threat will go away. The opposite approach is more effective and less costly in lives. Some limited use of force to apprehend militants and destroy training camps is legitimate, but unilateral war is not. In the three years since the invasion of Iraq, the number of major terrorist incidents in the world has increased sharply. War itself is a form of terrorism. Using military force to counter terrorism is like pouring gasoline on a fire. It ignites hatred and vengeance and creates a cycle of violence that can spin out of control. A better strategy is to take away the fuel that sustains the fire. Only nonviolent methods can do that, by attempting to resolve the underlying political and social factors that give rise to armed violence.

The most urgent priority for countering terrorism, experts agree, is multilateral law enforcement to apprehend perpetrators and prevent future attacks. Cooperative law enforcement and intelligence sharing among governments have proven effective in reducing the operational capacity of terrorist networks. Governments are also cooperating to block financing for terrorist networks and deny safe haven, travel, and arms for terrorist militants. These efforts are fully compatible with the principles of nonviolence.

Terrorism is fundamentally a political phenomenon, concluded the U.N. Working Group on Terrorism in 2002. To overcome the scourge, “it is necessary to understand its political nature as well as its basic criminality and psychology.” This means addressing legitimate political grievances that terrorist groups exploit - such as the Israel-Palestine dispute, repressive policies by Arab governments, and the continuing U.S. military occupation in Iraq. These deeply-held grievances generate widespread political frustration and bitterness in many Arab and Muslim countries, including among people who condemn terrorism and al Qaeda’s brutal methods. As these conditions fester and worsen, support rises for the groups that resist them. Finding solutions to these dilemmas can help to undercut support for jihadism. The strategy against terrorism requires undermining the social base of extremism by driving a wedge between militants and their potential sympathizers. The goal should be to separate militants from their support base by resolving the political injustices that terrorists exploit.

A nonviolent approach should not be confused with appeasement or a defeatist justification of terrorist crimes. The point is not to excuse criminal acts but to learn why they occur and use this knowledge to prevent future attacks. A nonviolent strategy seeks to reduce the appeal of militants’ extremist methods by addressing legitimate grievances and providing channels of political engagement for those who sympathize with the declared political aims. A two-step response is essential: determined law enforcement pressure against terrorist criminals, and active engagement with affected communities to resolve underlying injustices. Ethicist Michael Walzer wrote, counterterrorism “must be aimed systematically at the terrorists themselves, never at the people for whom the terrorists claim to be acting.” Military attacks against potential sympathizers are counterproductive and tend to drive third parties toward militancy. Lawful police action is by its nature more discriminating and is more effective politically because it minimizes predictable backlash effects.

Gandhi’s political genius was in understanding the power of third party opinion. He did not try to challenge the British militarily but instead organized mass resistance to weaken the political legitimacy of the Raj. The nonviolent method, Reinhold Niebuhr wrote, undermines the authority and “moral unction” of the adversary. Gandhi realized that political struggles are ultimately a battle for hearts and minds. In all his campaigns, he assiduously cultivated the support of third parties by avoiding harm to the innocent and addressing legitimate grievances. These are essential insights for the struggle against terrorism. The fight will not be won on the battlefield. The more it is waged on that front, the less likely it can be won. The goal of U.S. strategy, said the 9/11 Commission, must be “prevailing over the ideology that contributes to Islamic terrorism.” Nonviolent resistance is the opposite of and a necessary antidote to the ideology of extreme violence. Gandhi often said, “An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.” Better to keep our eyes open as we search for more effective means of eroding support for extremism, while protecting the innocent and bringing violent perpetrators to justice.

David Cortright is the author of Gandhi and Beyond: Nonviolence for an Age of Terrorism (Paradigm Publishers, 2006) and co-founder of the Center on Global Counter-Terrorism Cooperation.

updates...

I'm generally optimistic and encouraged these days. That doesn't mean there aren't challenging things on the radar, but I feel like I've come through a season in which God has been putting His finger on some heart issues in my life. As that season draws to a close, I sense that it's a "rest" period for that. This doesn't mean it's not important any more, but that I've seen what He wants me to see, made some adjustments to how I do life and think about life, and now is the time to assimilate those lessons into habits that help me move forward. I love to grow and learn. It's hard, but so worth it.

We're wrapping up a series on men at Northwest. I've had a great time doing this series and love seeing some of the impact of it in some others. Even women have commented to me how significant this has been for them. I've found encouragement in that -- mostly because the work being done is genuinely of the Spirit; my part has been to be faithful in presenting certain things and then let God do His work. That's fun to be a part of.

I'm in a couple Fantasy Football leagues. Heidi and I didn't do that last year, but enjoyed it the year before. One team has already been drafted and seems to be pretty good. I'm pleased. Will probably post on that a bit more later.

Peace,

M@

PGA Championship...

I find myself easily distracted today. Because of yesterday. I'll explain...

For Father's Day, Heidi (and the kids, no doubt) gave me a special gift - tickets to a practice round for the PGA Championship in Medina (sound of us about an hour). Yesterday was the day.

I had an amazing time with Heidi at my side, graciously walking from hole to hole, trying to catch glimpses of great golfers on a great course. The weather was perfect. The company was perfect. And it was fun to see these men (many we recognized from watching golf on TV) hone their craft.

The day ended following John Daly on a couple holes. Waiting for him at the 10th tee, which is a "grip-it-and-rip-it" kind of hole, I was excited to see him drive...he's a long-baller on the drive. He walked up to the tee...and then right past the tee...to the car waiting just on the other side of the fence. I guess he's had enough practice. My guess is that the weekend will prove that he could have used a few more holes of practice...we'll see.

That disappointment began our long journey back to the clubhouse to go home. The course was changed a bit to accomodate the PGA, so the 10th tee, normally very near the clubhouse, was actually at the furthese possible point away from it. We got our walking in, for sure.

Heidi was hit in the leg by a little-known guy (at least to us). Joey Sindelar...he's shooting plus-2 as I write this...the curse of hitting Heidi Furr in the leg!! She got his ball as a gift.

What a day...Thank you, family. You love me well!

So today I'm a bit distracted. I'm checking on the scores and remembering what I saw. And smiling...

Furr

amazing gift...

Heidi gave me an amazing gift today. She created the space for me to head to Grand Haven, MI to meet with some mentors of mine (and my family). These are people that I try to connect with in person at least one time per year (my mentors...my family has to put up with me more than that!).

The journey of discovery began about 415am, when I pulled out of the driveway. Surely this will be early enough to avoid much traffic in the city of Chicago. I discovered that there are way too many people on the road at 4am in Chicago. Go home, people! Sleep in a bit more. The work will be there at 6, too!! Wow!

Got to Grand Haven, which is right on Lake Michigan. I grew up in this town and have always loved going to the waterfront. After 3.5 hours in the car, my muscles were aching. So I pulled into a parking lot and enjoyed a little morning jog near the water. From one end of the boardwalk to the end of the pier and back -- about 3 miles altogether. It was fun!

Spent some time with my folks and used their shower. Thank, Mom and Dad!!

Had lunch with Denny. Denny has been one of my biggest encouragers since I was a little kid. He took me under his wing when my father died and has always made time for me in his busy schedule. Denny is an encourager. He is also someone who kicks my arse...I got a bit of both during lunch. What did he speak into my life? That's for me to know and you to find out! Seriously...some of the stuff is close enough to my heart to share here. But I left my time with him both encouraged and challenged. It was worth the drive. Thanks, Denny.

After some time with family in the afternoon and a little shopping for my wife (no, I won't tell you what it was until I get home), I spent the evening with Larry and Brenda. I have spend countless hours in their living room since I was in High School. They have been profound mouthpieces of God into my life. Tonight was no exception. With a few simple questions, I shared with them what was going on in my life and at Northwest. They offered encouragement, insight, challenge, and powerful words into my life. Again, the specifics can feel somewhat sacred, so I won't write them out. But it was an incredible time with them.

Right now, I'm sitting in Jumpin' Java downtown Grand Haven. Processing my stuff a little before the drive home. I'm sort of stalling since I don't want to drive through the city too early -- the Sox will be finished whipping the *&%$&*^ Yankees tonight and I want to miss the traffic if possible.

Thank you, Heidi, for offering me this space to feed my soul. It's an amazing gift. It wasn't the same as Cambridge...but totally affirmed it...

My body is a little weary right now. But my soul is nourished. I realize at moments like this how totally blessed I am to have people who will invest themselves in me the way these folks do. I work hard for their investment to pay off...by God's grace.

Well...about time to hit the road. Gas is cheaper in Michigan...

Go Sox (White and Red)!!!

M@

Milestone...

In one of my last posts, I mentioned that I'm making some lifestyle changes that should impact my health, girth, and longevity. In that, I also mentioned that I tend to be pretty sheepish about the whole thing. As I've thought more about that, I think I tend to be sheepish in part because I make bad choices and feel a certain amount of shame. I'm not proud of my weight...so I tend to either joke about it (if I can call myself fat, then your observation can be deflected) or avoid it.

I'm still not proud of my weight...it should never have gotten here. A friend posted on his blog that he stepped on his scale and it read 247. He decided to do something about that because his scale only went to 250. My answer is...time for a new scale!

But I've been adjusting several things in my life. And I am proud of that.

If someone is addicted to alcohol...they can just avoid drinking it for the rest of their life. In the same way, most people who are addicted to something can choose to just avoid it. But if you're addicted to food (using it for something other than nurishment), you can't just stop eating...at least you shouldn't. You have to eat. So it forces some issues that are unique. But I'm making different choices...and feel the grip of food loosening. Like the guy at AA who introduces himself as an alcoholic even though he's been dry for 23 years, I must always face the demons in my closet and cannot open the door any further than I absolutely have to. I'm encouraged by the progress there.

I've been running (actaully, jogging and walking)...working my way up to a 5k run. I'm encouraged by my progress. Today, I had a good run...went for over 25 minutes without walking. I thought I was doing great...until I was lapped by a guy clearly in his 50s...oh well...pretty good for the chubby guy who just started (see...it can be effective at dodging stuff). But I'm encouraged.

And when I stepped on the scale this morning for my official Monday morning weigh-in...I passed a huge mile marker for me...I've lost over 20 pounds! There is a whole lot more to go...but that was a biggie for me.

It's hard work. I don't always see the progress that I want. But I'm seeing results...and that will keep me coming back. I know there's a wall coming here sometime, but I plan to bust through and keep going.

At this point, I weigh less (barely) than I did when I arrived here...

I share that to give you a little glimpse of something that I'm encouraged by. I also know there are people reading this who shared with me their desire to take some of the same steps. So I write this to say, "Press on!" It's worth it.

Peace,

Matt

ambition...

Is ambition consistent with following Jesus?

That was the question posed last night in our Small Group. Frankly, I'm a little torn about the answer.

It seems like the picture of Christianity in the church often is very docile...nice guys sitting in a room together doing whatever seems to come up. But I'm not sure this is the picture of Jesus. I think Jesus was very ambitious...he knew that he had a limited amount of time to accomplish His Father's will...which led him to the cross.

But in my mind, ambition often leads one to greater and greater achievement, responsibility, and the attention of others. Jesus' ambition drove him to a disgraceful death. Yes his life was filled with strategic investment of time and energy.

So, in some ways, ambition seems very consistent with following Jesus. Yet not a selfish ambition (which is the point I think James is making in James chapter 3 of the New Testament). It's an ambition to please the Father.

Ambition people make intentional, strategic decisions in how they spend time, money, energy. For example, great athletes spend everything on acheiving greatness in their field...everything they do moves them in that direction.

What would it look like for a follow of Jesus to be so ambitious that everything they did moved them close to Christ and the will of the Father? What if all my time, energy, money...everything was for that one goal?

I think that would be pretty ambition, don't you?

I'm a pretty driven person. I wrestle with that a lot in my own spirit. There are parts of that drive that aren't healthy. But some of that is just born in me. Understanding godly ambition means that I get to be who God made me to be by letting His Spirit harness it for His purposes, not my own.

That's good news to me...

Peace,

Matt

thought spatter...

There are many things on my mind these days...here's a spattering of them...

- Several words of encouragement on the weigh-loss front. Thanks. I spend much of my time being encouraged about the process. Yesterday's "official" weigh-in didn't turn out as well as previous weeks. I checked again today and it's much better. I don't get too yanked about specifics, but I watch trends...trends are good. I'm running a lot more than walking these days. I feel the difference.

- I felt like crap on Sunday. Things came together well except my stuff. Not sure what it was, but I felt like my message presentation was one of the worst that I can remember. And for those of you who remember worse...go ahead and keep that to yourself;-) There were several high points, but I was heavy with a lot of discouragement about my own contribution to the gathering. I don't like that at all. Again, I'm putting this out there for the sake of transparency, not to get any kind of response. My hunch is that sometimes people don't realize that leaders/pastors can get discouraged, too. I don't go there often, but...this Sunday was a doozy!

- I think it's great that Tiger won the British Open. He's an amazing golfer and I love to watch him work. I loved the rare glimpse at the friendship between him and his caddie, Steve. Even the best of performers/leaders/athletes need someone to lean on at significant moments. Good on you, Tiger! Now quick crying and get back to work;-)

- Heidi works so hard at home. I can't tell you how much I appreciate her. Day in and day out, she answers the same mundate questions that numb the brain. She wipes away tears. She laughs at silly things. She breaks up fights before they escalate. She feeds. And she does it all with an amazing spirit. Heidi is amazing!

- I'm sitting in my office staring down another crazy week. Here goes...

Peace,

Matt

touching base...

Didn't log in with anything specific in mind to write about. So I'm going to ramble for a minute and see if anything comes out...

I've been doing some great heart learning lately. God has used some challenging circumstances to highlight some things within me. Though these reflections aren't always easy to see/hear...they are providing me insight into myself so that I can change patterns that I'm not comfortable with. I know it's sort of ambiguous, but specifics aren't important.

I'm a little leary to put this out there. So I'll do the disclaimer first. I'm pretty sensitive to issues pertaining to my girth. I joke...but that's generally so that people know that I know that I'm too fat...humor is good that way;-) I also have appropriate people in positions of accountability and encouragement...so I don't share this in the hopes that people everywhere I go will comment on my eating habits. And finally, I don't share this so that anyone will be watching for progress and feel the need to comment.

So why am I writing this? Because I'm excited about it...it's a big piece of my learning and development at this point...and maybe somehow, I can encourage others.

I hit the wall about 5 weeks ago. I've been there before, but various stresses like new children, looking for a new job, moving, etc. captured more of my attention than my health. But a little bit of margin snuck into my life, allowing me to look more closely at choices that I've been making. And I just wasn't happy. That's the wall...I've had enough. It's actually a good place to be because it motivates change much more effectively than guilt and shame.

I began a change in my eating habits. There are some things that I just don't eat anymore...maybe when I was 50 pounds lighter and much younger it was ok. They just aren't ok any more. Though I will miss some of my old friends...they weren't good friends, so I'm better off without them. So my eating is different. I'm not going to share the plan...but I do have a plan. If you want more details, let me know.

I'm also exercising 4-5 times per week. I was motivated by a friend from college (shout out to don!). He connected me with coolrunning.com and the couch-to-5k running plan. In 9 weeks, anyone can go from couch potato to running 5k without stopping. I took the challenge and am in week 6...I skipped a little because it was just too slow at first. But I'm trying to pace myself so I don't blow me knees. So far so good.

I've turned the corner to the point where I feel better on the days I run than on the days I don't. That's a good feeling and part of what makes it worth it.

Why did I do this?

1. I want to raise my own children if at all possible. I know I could still get hit by a bus, but I'm not going to let my heart stop my parenting.

2. There is no way I'm going to let Heidi marry that doctor!!! I'm keeping her for myself!!

3. There is no way I can teach about self-control and discipline if I obviously don't have much. It's a spiritual matter.

4. God gave me this body. I'm not treating it very well. Sorry about that, God.

5. I'm too cheap to by new and bigger clothes. If I get the "big boy" clothes, they cost more. I'm too cheap.

6. I work hard. I can't afford to be tired and drained in my day. I need to make too many decisions that impact people. I need to manage my energy in the most effective way possible.

So, there are many reasons. I've got goals. I've got a plan. I'm working the plan and meeting the goals. I'm encouraged...and I haven't even lost enough weight for anyone to really even notice. But I do and I keep telling Heidi every Monday when I weigh in...

Anyway...that's a bit of my life. I think I'm good with sharing that...too late now!

Peace,

Matt

Life is...

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body. But rather, to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: WOW, What A Ride!"

Got this off a friend's blog...great quote!

M@

Climate Change - more

I reflected on global climate change a few posts back. I've continued to think about the issue and would like to download some of those thoughts...

- (this is a Heidi thought) It seems like the Church is getting on board with creation care stuff. For the most part, I think that's great. For example, at Northwest, we use mugs instead of styrofoam cups -- cheaper and better on creation. But the Church is never good at moderation -- she tends to drink in excess at various wells. In the past, instead of challenging Christ-followers to think about issues pertaining to alcohol, she simply said that it was sin to drink. It's possible that we may see the same thing when it comes to creation care in the future. "Do you recycle?" "No." "Hmmm...you sure you're right with God?" I can see it now...

- Earth is a big planet. The solar system is a mammoth system with wide variety and dynamic causes/effects. It's a dynamic system in which we live. There is no such thing as constant temperatures. There is pretty solid evidence to suggest that the plant was much cooler than it is now as well as much hotter than it is now. There were glaciers and tropics in Pennsylvania. Climate change is a part of life on the big blue ball.

- The questions that remain (and are attached to opinion/agendas more than science) involve the rate of climate change and the causes of said rates. There is limited capability for conclusively determining these things. And it certainly requires more than a 50 year spread of research.

- The climate change issue is still tied largely to our own comfort and ultimate preservation. I'm faily interested in my survival and that of my species, so don't get me wrong. But altuism seems to stop when the conversation turns from caring for creation to preserving the way of life as we know it now. The "big scare" from the Al Gore trailer is that we'll lose a bunch of coastline in the world. Granted, that's a huge thing...but just because people will need to move inland doesn't mean that we're all doomed. Especially in America. That is a harder venture for poor nations. But it's not really the end of the world for us to have to adjust the way we do life. And keep in mind, this is just one paragraph and simply a reflection of my personal thoughts...it's not science...it's just reflection.

- I had the chance to talk with someone who is a scientist and, though not directly involved with issues of climate change, is pretty informed and well-read on the subject because it impacts his sphere of study. In short, he knows a heck of a lot more than me and has a good basis for his opinion. I enjoyed that conversation and am glad we had it. Here are some thoughts from that conversation:

- sometimes recycling does more harm than good. I put my plastic in a blue box. It gets picked up by a guy driving a huge truck, which runs on fuel. My plastic then needst to be driven to a recycling center to be processed. How much fuel was used to trasport my plastic? What are the emissions from that truck? If I didn't recycle, they wouldn't use that extra truck and cause those extra emmissions. Is it worth it? For me, it probably is. The truck that picks up my recycling drivings less than five miles to the center. In my area, it's probably worth it. In other areas, it's probably far less worth it. It's worth thinking about. How far does your recycling have to go? Is that worth it for you?

- this guy affirmed some of my thoughts about the big earth and the dynamics that have been in play for many many years.

- sometimes we respond to creation more to make ourselves feel better than to do what is really best for creation. For example, the recycling scenario where it produces more emmissions to drive the material to the recycling center...but we feel better for putting out Sunday paper in the blue box and don't think about the impact of the big trucks that drive the stuff.

Again, these are all just thoughts and reflections. I'm not a scientist. I don't plan to make a movie or run for President. It's a conversation that I have the luxury of having because no one in my family is dying of AIDS or disentary, I have clean water to drink, and relative safety in my community.

Peace,

Matt

Vacations don't exist...

Yeah, the word "vacation" has been stricken from our vocabulary. They are not just trips. Vacation carries the connotation of rest, refreshment, and down time...at least it does for me. Before we had kids, Heidi and I would vacation in Vermont -- a great little inn near Rutland. We would read, sleep, eat, walk, sit in the hot tub...and do it all over again. My pulse slows down a bit just remembering it.

But this past week was spent on the road in another kind of adventure. Heidi, Rachel (a friend from Buffalo), and the kids went to West Michigan on Friday. They spent time playing with cousins and going to the beach. After worship on Sunday, I took a train north to catch up with them.

On Tuesday, July 4, we drove across the state and Canada and arrived in Buffalo, NY in fine time. We were given the gift of staying in the house we used to own in Hamburg. The new residents are friends and were planning to be out of town for the week, so they very graciously gave us the opportunity to stay there.

The first night was very shakey. The kids didn't sleep well. The parents didn't sleep well. Frankly, we debated packing up and going home at that point...that's how rough it felt during the night. We were kept in town by our love for our friends and a golf date that I had in the morning.

The rest of the nights went better. We made some adjustments on sleeping arrangements in the 2-bedroom home. That meant that Izak and Dad slept in the living room -- Izak on the floor and Dad on the couch. Decent sleep was had by all.

We spent most of our days at the Musielak pad. Rick and Carrie are soul-mate friends. It was a gift to simply share space with them. They have 2.9 kids, who loved playing with our 3...that was fun to watch. Much swinging was done by all!

We would venture out to catch up with a few other friends. It's a pretty small group of people that we spend much time with. Not because we try to leave people out, but because we have only so much energy and time. Many people there are close to our hearts, but our capacity is limited. That's hard for me (not speaking for Heidi).

We made it to Sunday morning, when we went to Hamburg Wesleyan, where I used to serve on staff. I love the people there. I left because of God's lead, not because of any hard feelings or frustrations. Walking into the place was a bit like coming home to me.

There is a large open area...foyer...called the "fellowship mall." Heidi and I put hte kids in their classes and began to connect with people again. It was such a gift to spend those few hours quickly touching base. Offering a word of encouragement here. Receiving a word of encouragement there.

I'm not a hugger. I put that right out there when I got to Northwest...who has respected that;-) But in case Northwest-ers think I am not a hugger just for them, be assured that I've never been a hugger. No less than 200 times did someone at Hamburg say, "I know you're not a hugger, but can I...?" It made me laugh...

It is a gift to have been a part of God's work at Hamburg. It is a gift to have so many loving people who welcome us and continue to pray for us. If you're part of that group...know that you are loved, missed, and appreciated for the time we shared.

After church, we jumped in the van and made a bee-line for home. We made Chicago in just under 8 hours. Then ran into traffic -- people returning from vacations, White Sox/BoSox game, and construction. Took some time to get through all that. So we made it to our driveway in just over 9 hours...not bad at all with three kids and an unimpressive bladder (mine)!

Now comes the chore of recalibrating to life at home. We'll all be off for a few days or a week...we'll see.

It's good to be here. Do I miss my friends in Buffalo? Deeply. But even more than that is my desire to obedient to my Master. He has given me the gift of loving and being loved well in Hamburg, NY. He's giving me that opportunity now in IL. Rarely do people experience that kind of goodness in one place. I have been given that gift in many.

It's a long post. But that's the gist of what's been happening for the past week.

Peace,

Matt

family away...

Heidi and the kids (and Rache) are in Michigan tonight. They left this morning and made good time getting there. Sounds like the kids are stoked to be with the cousins again!

I'm staying back to get some work done at church and around the house. I've got tonight, tomorrow, and most of Sunday to be alone. I miss them.

It's also a good time to catch up on movies that Heidi doesn't want to see. Not sure where to begin...I think I'm going to watch X-Men and X-Men 2...can't go see 3 in the theater until I'm up to speed.

Getting some good stuff done in the office. I like getting stuff done.

Will take my first train ride ever on Sunday. Should be nice. But I like driving. Do you think they'll let me drive?

Yeah...I don't either.

See ya'

Matt

catching up...

Had a busy but nice weekend.

Spent most of Saturday celebrating the wedding of a daughter of some new friends. It was a wonderful afternoon and evening visiting, learning more about friends, and being together. The kids were at home with some of their favorite people (charlotte and the boys...sounds like a gang of some sort). That means it was time for Heidi and me to walk and hold hands, talk about whatever came to our minds, and enjoy some incredible scenery.

Sunday was Father's Day...what a nice day it was. I work on Sundays, but my family made it special for me. Izak woke me up with a tender greeting. Libby just smiles and lights up my day. And Levi...what a guy!

My wife ordered tickets for her and me to enjoy a practice round at the upcoming PGA Championship (one of the 4 majors in professional golf) which will be held near Chicago in August. It's going to be a great time together and to see some of these incredible golfers up close. I've never done that before...should be a blast.

In the evening, we enjoyed the company of most of our small group friends. We played cards, laughed, trash-talked, and laughed some more. That was refreshing...

Yesterday was a nice and full family day. I got some house stuff done and then ran errands with Z and Lib, so Heidi could tackle some of her stuff without interuption. That woman can balance a checkbook like nobody's business! To the penny!!

Today...back in the office. The guys are gone, so it's pretty much just me back here in the building. Should be a good week to study and get my head and heart into the upcoming ministry year.

That's the news here...

Peace,

M@

Climate Change...

Al Gore has been getting around lately. He's putting all of his energy and credibility into his recently released movie about the changing climate and the crucial reality that we need to face. He believes strongly in what he's preaching. He's committed to getting the word out that humans (Americans in specific) are bringing about incredible and destructive changes to the earth's climate that will result in catastrophe, making Katrina look like a fresh spring rain.

I've been interested to learn more about this idea. I confess that I haven't spent the kind of time and money on it that Gore has. Nor am I a researcher in this field. So I, like most of us, must rely on the inputs of people who are deemed reliable and credible sources. In learning more, I came across this piece, which is worth the read. You can link to it at: http://www.canadafreepress.com/2006/harris061206.htm

If offers a credible challenge to the theory that Gore is supporting in his movie. Again, it's worth a read.

The take-away for me on this issue is multifaceted. Personally, I want to do my part to care well for creation. That's been a growing edge for me the past 5 or 6 years. We recycle all that we can at home and at the church. Northwest is using mugs that get washed instead of styrofoam cups for coffee. I "lust" a little less over trucks and look more at a future small car that has better fuel economy -- though I make no promises that a Tacoma may not get the best of me in the future!

I also think we have important responses as a local and global worshipping community. The Church ought to be at the front of the line on caring well for creation. The one we are most passionatley in love with created it all. Think about it. If Heidi, the object of my deepest human affection, creates something...I'm pretty defensive about it. I don't let other people mess with it. I don't even want the kids to mess with it. Her "creation" is a reflection of her and I don't want that tainted.

The world around us is a reflection of God. It reflects his creativity, beauty, mercy, wonder, grandure, structure. If He is the object of our deepest affection, then why would we not want to work to protect and care for that in which He invested so much? Humans are the crown of creation, sure. But that doesn't negate the rest of it.

So I'm still growing and learning. And I'm much more inclined to continue that path out of love for the Creator versus fear, guilt, or peer pressure. Check out the article. Experience a little freedom from guilt and fear. And then go hug a tree!

Peace,

M@

so far...so good...

Heidi is having a great time visiting friends. Sounds like her batteries are getting a much-needed re-charge...which was the point.

The kids are doing well here. We've enjoyed a couple of outings and a couple trips around the block. It's strange not having Levi here, too. I've gotten so used to the little guy being around that I keep listening for him.

Guess what we had for breakfast this morning? POPCORN!!! At least Izak did. Lib's munching on a bagel...a bit more appriate of a breakfast. But he loves it...and it's Daddy Day!!

Peace from the trenches...

M@

Daddy Weekend...

There have been Daddy Days since Izak was born. Well, we're upgrading this weekend. It's going to be a Daddy Weekend! Heidi and her 8-month-old appendage are heading out of town for 48 hours, beginning Sunday morning.

Yeah, it's a little crazy to think about Sunday am flying solo. But I figure I might as well give it a run sometime, right? If Heidi is ever to be involved in the worship gathering, then I need to learn what it feels like to get the kids there in the morning, since she'd need to be there early, too.

I'm a little nervous about getting to church about 20 minutes prior to it beginning...I'm used to be there a couple hours ahead. That just means I need to get my head and heart ready tonight instead of counting on that time in the morning. I can do it.

Then the rest of the day we will play, nap a bit (maybe) and then slide into bed for a quiet night. And unicorns, Big Foot, and Nessie all exist, too!

It's been quite a week. We're doing interviews at Northwest for a Youth Pastor. Can't tip my hat here since there are no final decisions at this point. Keep posted...we hope to make a decision this week. It's a big deal on many fronts. And it's certainly been an opportunity for God to grow our (the other leaders and me) faith...and that's a good thing.

In this and other situations, I'm learning to trust and walk by faith...even when I don't know what even the next step is supposed to look like. Again, that good. That 's how faith is grown and developed. It's just not comfortable. I guess that's the point.

Heading to bed.

peace,

M@

still here...

I didn't realize it's been this long since I posted. I guess the words about Heidi are a great way to leave it hanging for a couple weeks.

Life has been pretty intense lately. I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be learning...I think it has to do with trusting God even when it doesn't feel good. I also think I'm supposed to be learning to give thanks for the challenges -- not in spite of them, but for them. That idea scraped across my mind last night and I'm still processing it a bit. Probably worth a post or two in the near future.

I was thinking about blogging the other day. When I began, I was an assistant pastor at a large church...I didn't get many opportunities to speak. Now, I'm the lead pastor at a smaller church and I speak/teach weekly, at least. I don't think it spells the end of blogging, but I may account for some of the longer stretches between posts...I have other outlets for thoughts and ideas. Anyway...

Heidi and I are heading out together tonight. The monkeys are all in bed and (relatively) quiet. Will be nice to have some focused time with her. Ms. B called and asked if she could come over so we could get out -- what an incredible gift! Thanks, Ms. B.

Peace,

M@

My Wife...

I have an amazing wife. Really...I do. If you know her, you have gotten a glimpse of that and would agree. But I know her more than any other person in this world. After 11 years of marriage, I know her better than her sister and mother and father and...anyone. Not because I'm so special or discerning (I am a man, you know), but because she has chosen to share herself with me. What a gift!

- I am continually amazed at her strength and fortitude as a mother. No matter how tired she is (she hasn't slept more than 3 full nights in the past 4 years, if that) she digs down deep and does what she needs to do to serve the kids and me. She gets up in the middle of the night to comfort a teething toddler. She takes the time to discipline a growing boy when it would be so much easier to just let it slide -- but that doesn't help him, does it? When she gets to the end, there is just a little bit more to give.

- I am honored by the respect that she gives me. She has more brain power than I could hope for. She is gifted and skilled to the hilt. Yet she respects me. And she tells me so. She knows the power of her words and how she communicates love and respect. That power is huge!

- I love to hear her sing. When she sings praise to our God, it's amazing to hear. She's got muscial skill, that's for sure. But in worship, she has a gift. I have benefited more than anyone else from that.

- Her laugh is infectious. She loves to laugh. A witty line. Someone falling down or getting startled. Physical humor is her favorite. Her eyes light up and the room fills with her laugh.

- Her tender touch is beyond amazing. I have known that touch as she gently rubs my shoulders or plays with my hair...even just holding her hand. I have seen the effects of that magical touch as she holds a crying child who is throwing up. One gentle touch and everything seems to be ok. I think that's one of the things that makes her a wonderful and sought-after nurse.

- She loves Jesus. She trusts him. She chases after him. She would rather give up the closeness of her soul-mate friends and move to another part of the country than disobey him. Her life is a reflection of love and obedience working together.

- She uses her words well. She asks a good question and helps a friend process a challenging situation. She offers some discerning insight and brings clarity to a confusing situation. She challenges my heart in a matter, and helps keep me soft before God. Words have power. She wields her power well.

Those are just a few of the things that I've learned and love about Heidi. And we've really only begun this journey together. There will be more teething, diapers, flu bugs, school meetings, worship gatherings, vacations, soccer games, football games, graduations, military graduations, disappointements, celebrations...more life to come. And I get the honor to join hands with this amazing woman and walk through life with her.

My Beloved...you are a treasure to me...

Matthew

I'd rather...

...be going through challenging situations with the Spirit near by than smooth sailing with no need for Him.

That's a great explanation to the question, "How are you doing?" Could just say, "Fine." But that just doesn't cover all the right bases.

In the past couple of months, God has shown me a bit more of himself than I have ever known before. Seriously. God. Incredible.

In that, I have found amazing comfort and peace in His nearness. Just being near. Like knowing Heidi is close by. I don't even need her to say anything...just reaching over and knowing she's close is comforting. I've found the same with the Spirit of God.

Are some of these challenges hard? Some of the hardest I've faced. But He is near. He is wise. He is strong. Therefore, so am I.

Peace,

Matt

What a week!!

Wow...that one was a doosey!! Here are some of my reflections on this past week...

- There are some pretty intense things going on at Northwest. I could not be more excited about what God is up to. People are really experiencing His presence in profound and powerful ways. I'm including myself in that, which is incredible!

- The kids have had a nasty virus for over a week. Izak woke up last Sunday with a mighty yak! And he didn't stop for several days. He got very bad. I've never seen him that flacid and weak. Heidi processed that really well on her blog...check it out. It was a scary time.

He landed in the hospital for two days and one night. I got to stay with him over most of that, since Levi also started yakking and filling nasty diapers...he needed Mom to be near even more than Izak did. It was an honor for me to simply be with my son while he recovered. I hope and pray that at some level, he experienced a bonding with Daddy that he will draw on as he gets olders.

One of the thoughts that I had during this ordeal was: Izak gets to live because he's my son. Because he was born into my family, in the US, he gets to live. Had he been born into a family in rural Africa or India or so many other poor countries, he would have died from this virus. Some people make a great deal about how much America sucks. I know we're not perfect...but I get to laugh with my son today because we live in America. I'm thankful for that. On the flip side, I'm also not ok with people dying from a virus like this...what can I/we do to help bring about a new reality to people around the world? I think there is much...we can give generously to organizations that are on the ground in other countries doing the hard work. We have so much that we do not need...it's time to share.

- It's important to me to be a solid Daddy. I wear that name as a badge of honor. As much as I love my work and am passionate about serving Jesus, I love my family deeply and am thankful for opportunities like this past week to put feet on that heart.

- Rick is in town for a few days. Rick is a soul-mate friend from Buffalo. He is a gift to me. He encourages and humbles. We laugh together in ways that should be illegal (should be...but aren't!) Our wives are so incredible, they are making a way for us to golf together. So he's in town this weekend and we'll golf at least 3 times, it not 4. He'll also kick my butt in pool a bit, too. God's timing in bringing him here this weekend is perfect.

- DaVinci Code comes out this week. So many different reactions to this book and movie. I read the book a while back. I like Tom Hanks, so I'll probably watch the movie at some point. I think people often react out of two things: fear or idolatry of the Bible. We don't need to fear that someone is going to prove the bible false, thus undermining my faith. We don't need to fear. Because (and this leads to the second part) our faith is not based in the text, but in the person revealed in the text, Jesus. Even if it was empiracally proven (which I don't think it ever will be) that the Bible is historically inaccurate, my faith would still remain strong in the person of Jesus. How? If the text is not accurate, how can I know? The Spirit. God gave us His Spirit which leads us and guides us. Is the Bible important? It's huge. But it's not bigger than Jesus. And sometimes people act as if the bible is more important that being a passionate follower of Jesus. Passionately loving Jesus brings one to the text.

I'm talking a bit about this during worship on Sunday. Should be an interesting message. It will be different sort of flavor than normal, but a change is good now and then. I'm looking forward to it.

That's the scoop.

Peace,

M@

Sunday night...

Not a very creative title to a blog, I know. But that's about what I have tonight. I'm about as drained as I can remember ever being. But at the same time, my spirit is in a great place. Body weak. Spirit strong.

Izak woke up this morning with a mighty yak. So Heidi won another day at home with the kids. She doesn't complain at all, though it's got to be intense. What an incredible lady! That's why Mother's Day is so big!

Libby started yakking again, too. Two out of three. The day is just getting better. Levi seems to be ok...for now.

At the moment, all the kids are down for the night. Heidi is at Small Group...a little chance to get out and hang with big people. And I've got the quiet house to myself.

Rick, a soul-mate of a friend, is coming out next weekend. We're going to get a few rounds of golf in. Golf is our haven together. There's nothing like a day on the course with Rick. He's a gift to me. It's perfect timing for some time together. I miss him. And in challenging times, he's a good friend to simply talk things through. He knows me well enough to not let me get away with anything. And he's encouraging and builds me up at the same time. Friends like that are a gift.

That's the scoop from here...

Peace,

Matt

blank stare...

I find that by the time I get to 7pm, all I've got left in me is enough energy to muster up a blank stare...not much else these days.

Some challenging things going on in my world. The challenges aren't fun. But what is fun is seeing God be so faithful in providing wisdom, courage, strength, and grace. I'm learning that I'm a sucker for redemption...

Redemption is an incredible thing, really. Even for my tin cans, I can get $.05 for giving them my garbage...not a bad deal. But even more than a nickel, God is all about redemption. No matter what we put on His plate, He's out to put value on it and make it good. It's not so much that he makes the bad stuff good, but that he turns it around, like spiritual ti-kwon-do. And he turns it into something that brings Him glory. I love that. I love to hear stories of redemption. I love to be a part of that process in the lives of people. I'm absolutely hooked on it.

That fact means that I also set myself up for disappointment...alot. I believe the best in people. I root for people. I make myself vulnerable. I'm a sucker.

But for that one time when it happens...when all the people involved submit to the leadership of Jesus...man...you just can't beat it!

Peace,

Matt

quick post...

Life has been moving pretty quickly here and posting has taken a little back seat. Here's a quickie update...

- Great Easter celebrations around Northwest. Dan and his "angels" did a great job putting together a creative and meaningful Good Friday experience. I heard great feedback on that...

- Easter was fun. It's the biggest day of the year, in my mind. The resurrection of Christ is the source of my hope. That day is also a challenge -- people have a variety of expectations for a worship experience on Easter. We broke the 200 mark on Easter...for the first time since I've been at Northwest. I liked that...

- The kids are doing great! I love my time with them. Izak is growing up to be a big boy on so many levels. Libby is a wonderful fire-cracker and fun. Levi is charming to the hilt. And Heidi...what a gift! She serves us all in so many ways.

- moving fast these days, like I said above. But I'm sensing the nearness of God, which is a source of strength and peace.

That's what I have at this point.

Peace,

Matt

my family...

I just can't shake 'em. I thought I could for a few days. I was given the gift of a trip to another city...alone. I needed it. I desired it. I anticipated it with excitement.

Then the time came for me to head out...and I hated it. I hated saying good-bye to my family. I didn't cry, but there were a few times when I was close to it. I just love my family so much...

My time in Boston was great. It was even more than I expected it to be. But the entire time, there was a nagging "miss-my-family" thing going on in my heart.

I missed Izak's desire to sit in my "yap" and the hugs and stories at bedtime.

I missed Libby's life-filled eyes as she dances in the mirror.

I missed Levi's full-face grin and belly laugh when I put my nose against his.

I missed Heidi's tender touch and the high-five at the end of a long day -- We did it again...

Yeah...I get pretty tired. But I wouldn't trade them for anything. I love my family...they are a gift to me...

Boston...

I couldn't get the smile off my face as I stepped off the plane. I heard the familiar accent of an ancient land...I was back in New England!

The sea didn't smell as strongly as she had in the past. But she was there. And the sites and smells of the city filled my heart. It's hard to explain how the hubbub of thousands of people on a subway and filling city streets can feel a soul...I just know it can.

Boston will always be a special city. From my grad school, I would take the train into the city to spend time alone. I'd drive to the airport to meet friends and family. I got pretty good and driving in Boston...it was always a welcome adventure.

But it was in the city that I met God on several occassions. I remember walking those streets as I explored a calling to start a new church in New England. How could God use me to reach people here? And He showed me.

When I was unsure of my plan, I remember meeting someone who challenged and encouraged me. Through that conversation, God spoke to me.

And here, this trip...amidst the craziness of a city trying to find her spring rhythm, I met God again. I knew He would be there, but I wasn't sure what He wanted to say to me. I just knew that we had an appointment together.

I went. I waited. I listened. And my eyes were opened to Him in ways that I didn't expect. In some ways, I didn't even want it. But He was there. He met me. He taught me. He grew me. I think He laughed at me a bit -- nothing meant to deman me, but a laugh of delight in the world He was opening to me.

Boston...my meeting place with God...

Peace,

Matt

Thank you, My Love...

Heidi gave me an incredible gift last week...the gift of time. And the fruit of that time has proven to be one of the most profound encounters with God that I've had. I could not have stolen away to Boston without the loving encouragement and courage of my wife. Words cannot express my gratitude for her selfless and sacrificial gift.

Thank you, my love...

Uncle Howie, the Daddy...

You can read more about him at www.seemann.com.

(Thank you, Luke, for posting this...)

Uncle Howie...

I was walking down the street in Cambridge the other day. Just came from a great meeting and checked my voicemail. Wasn't prepared for the news my mother gave me...my Uncle Howie had died the night before...

I was shocked, not because he was a specimine of fine health. Far from it in many ways. But I knew that a door had closed. Just the week before, I mulled the idea about flying out there for a quick visit. Wasn't sure when, I knew that I wanted to see him one more time...

There are many profound dynamics to my relationship with my uncle. But I really don't feel like writing them out here at this point. Sometimes, the thoughts just seem too sacred to share with another person...

So I say good-bye to my Uncle. He gave me more than he realized. And I will be forever grateful. And I look forward to telling him that again, someday...

His journey is done.

Ours is not.

Peace on the journey,

Matt

keeping up...

...barely.

Busy days. Nothing new in that...just busy. Actually, there is something new. I think I've shared how my work computer has been a pain...for the most part of the past year. I've tried everything and consulted with very good computer geeks to try to help. Nothing helps. When I'm in the middle of an email or writing, it will just freeze. Then, when I reboot, it has saved only the stuff from about 5 minutes prior.

I've gotten pretty paranoid about the whole thing. Write a though...push save...write a thought...push save. This has helped me not loose much work. Until Saturday. It froze. I rebooted it. I went to find my work. It only had what I started with about 2 hours earleir...nothing that I had been saving!!! A whole new level of fun...

But someone at Northwest, who heard my cry, came through with a new computer for me. What an incredible gift! not only did they give me a tool for my work, but they gave me peace of mind...ahhh...trust can be restored...a little at a time. I'm still a little leary...waiting for it to freeze. But since Tuesday...it's been great! What a gift...

Relationships are like that aren't they? I didn't intend to go anywhere with it, but I was just struck as I was writing. We cruise along in our relationships, then something freezes. Happens once and we live with it. A few more times, and it's annoying, but we don't toss it out. Over time, we learn to accomodate...if I just save this every 30 seconds, I'll be fine. But then, because we didn't tend to the issue when it was smaller...wham! We loose two hours of work...or 5 years of our life.

Even when we move on to the next relationship (if that one didn't get fixed), we have a hard time trusting. It's a totally different person, but we still find ourselves saving and backing up more than the typical person. It takes so long to learn to trust again.

And then we do. What a gift! Not just the gift of a new friend/wife/husband/fill-in-the-blank...but the gift of trust. What a gift!

Peace,

Matt

you know it was a tough day...

...at home, when you walk in and see the family sitting down for dinner.

And dinner is popcorn.

On plates...

Love you, Babe...

the Challenge...

Dan, one of the guys I work with, just came back from several days at the International House of Prayer (IHOP...yeah, yeah, yeah, I know...). It was a pretty cool experience for him. Someone there mentioned that if a person reads just 10 chapters in the New Testament per day, they will read the whole NT one time each month.

I've never thought about that much. I try to read every day, but just pick books and read a little bit. But to read a whole ten chapters...that seems easy enough. So I'm giving it a whirl. Just think how much more a person will know God after a year of reading the NT every month.

40 chapters a day will do the whole Bible every month...we'll see.

Tonight was daddy night...a good time had by all. Izak is totally into helping at nighttime now. He used to play in the tub for a hour...now he wants to jump right out so that he can help with Levi's bath. He actually is a help...he gets the little tub set up, runs the water (usually a little cold), gets the diaper and jammies ready. And when I need Levi's blankie from the living room, he's down and up in minutes. He loves to help...

Here's to MSU in the finals! But I have them beat by Duke...couldn't be that unrealistic! Go MSU. Unfortunately for my wife, she won't be able to watch Michigan play (snicker, snicker)...

Peace,

Matt

God's Spirit...

At Northwest, we're heading into a conversation series looking at the Spirit of God, often called the Holy Spirit or Holy Ghost. It's been fun for me to do some reading on this subject. I confess that I haven't put much focus on him...I've done more writing and thinking about Jesus or the Father. But the Spirit is just as much God as Jesus and the Father are...not sure why I've "neglected" him, but...

Tomorrow, during our gathering, we're going to unpack Acts 2 a bit. I should probably take a few weeks on this one passage, but we won't. There is so much there. Some pieces that came together for me are:

1. Pentecost was a Jewish festival to remember the giving of the Law to Moses on Mt. Sanai. Interesting...on the Acts 2 Pentecost, God gave out the mark of his New Covenant...the Spirit. And it wasn't to just one person up on a mountain, it was to many people right in the heart of heavily populated city.

2. Pentecost is 50 days after the last Sunday or Passover. Never stopped to ask where the name came from...pente...fifty...seems simple.

3. "Last days" as Peter talks about (quoting Joel, the OT prophet), isn't about the end of time, it's about the event that took place with the coming of the Spirit. The sun to darkness and moon to blood...those are images of a monsterous event...the historical shake-up of power.

Before this time, God revealed himself to only the Jews...they were the religious power. No longer. Now God is for everyone.

Before this time, Satan exercised his power in this world. We see Jesus coming against that power throughout his life on earth. Now, through the power of the Spirit, all Christ-followers have the ability to come against the power of Satan...he no longer rules unopposed. Much to flesh out on this one, but it's huge...

So what? What does this mean for me?

That's the Spirit that's in me! I am a part of God's plan for this world. I have the gift of God in me...through his Spirit. I don't contain all of the God, but I have the fullness of God in me. I am not Him; He resides within me. I have the fullness of God...in me...

Yet I so often choose to live within my own strength. It's my wisdom. It's my strength of character (yeah, right...). It's my intelligence. I lean into these things. And though God made me who I am, I find rich, meaningful, powerful life only when I tap into the power within me. His wisdom. His character. His knowledge. His strength. Then I have life...

I'm excited about this series on the weekends. The Spirit is God's gift to us. I hope to grow in what it means to live in that reality.

Peace,

M@

change of plans...

Usually I roll with changes pretty well. For some reason, I didn't roll with this change too well. I think it means a couple things:

1) I need to get away. At least a couple times a year, I need a road trip. I love to drive and change scenery. It's an important part of my soul care. I find that I get drained when these don't happen.

2) I need time with my wife. We work so hard during the day and the evenings, that it's hard to get enough time to get through the tactical stuff to the heart stuff of relationship. 10 hours on the road with her was going to be one of those times...

but alas...it was not to be. Lib started with the fever and we just couldn't risk her getting worse during the night with a sitter...not fair to have a sitter wake up a doctor or head to the ER if the fever gets too high. So I stayed home with the older two and Heidi went to IN with the youngest. Aunt Lo stayed with them during the day so that I could work a bit. Then we went to Outback together and the kids did great! Now it's quiet, Lo is gone, and the night is mine.

I like my family together...not apart. I guess that's a good thing.

Peace,

Matt

Butterfly Kisses...

A few years ago, a singer wrote a song that became the "daddy's dance" number one hit at weddings across America. It's a tender song about daddy's girl and the butterfly kisses she gave...it recounted all the special moments growing up and now he has to let go of his little girl but he'll always have butterfly kisses...

I've come to the conclusion that this dude was either not home and involved in his children's life or he was hit by a bus and forgot everything except the wedding rehearsal.

Or maybe I'm just different.

My charming daughter was liberally passing out kisses the other night at the dinner table. I was sitting next to her at the time, so I was the beneficiary of the puckered up "hmmmmmm..." as her sweet face came close to mine.

Nothing like the slimey kiss of your daughter with a cold and runny nose. Not butterfly kisses...boogger and snot kisses!

Which is why I get to enjoy my own sneezing and runny nose today...thanks, daughter for your butterfl...scratch that...your booger and snot kisses.

Not sure the song is as sweet...but the kisses sure are! I love 'em!

not much to say...

The lack of posting is an indication of just how busy things are around here these days. When the kids are sick, Heidi and I both kick into survival mode (not equating my situation with hers, who is home all day, just saying that I kick into a similar mindset). It takes about all my energy to work, come home, help, and then crash as the kids drift off to sleep.

They are all feeling better now, so I think the fog is lifting...

We went to Ikea today...yup...all of us! What a trip! Izak loved going up and down the elevators. Libby was doped up on decongestant, and Levi loved the special nursing room! It was a little overwhelming, but fun...

Last night we met with our new small group for the second time. It was a great time together. I'm thankful for this group.

I'm at a loss for words...not much to write other than a quick update.

Peace,

M@

2-minute drill...

- super bowl 40 was a let down. every team that i rooted for this postseason got beat. sorry seahawks...it was my fault. but...i got to spend some time with new friends from northwest until half-time, then we came home, put the shortest furr to bed and enjoyed the second half just us...the best of both worlds!

- kevin and sara had their baby. liam a little football of a kid...i forget how small they are when the first come home from the store. it also means that kevin's been out of the office the past couple weeks. i like it better when he's there...

- got a few kind cards on my year anniversary. northwest people have done such a great job welcoming me and my family. it's a good community to be a part of. they have let us feel the tenderness and hurt of leaving such close friends and have loved us well. thank you...

- heidi still loves working. she's working tonight. that means it was DADDY DAY!!! no fieldtrips today since lib is working on the flu that izak had since wednesday. it's a pretty nasty virus, which means that mommy and kids will probably be at home sunday morning...i miss them when they don't come.

- it's golf season...somewhere in the world...but not in chicago!

- when izak transitioned to a twin bed (out of the crib) we put a child-proofing device on the inside of his door so that he couldn't escape. well, he's getting older, so we decided to take it off. he was very surprised to find me in the hallway when he opened the door...and on the stairs...and in my bathroom...and in levi's room. yup...that daddy guy is magic! but it's quiet now, so i think sleep has overtaken the thrill of escape.

there you go...you're up to speed now. nothing too thrilling these days...work, drive, dinner, diapers, tubbies, bed, deep breath, work, bed...and it's all good.

Peace,

M@

stepping out...

Tonight was a big night for me (and though it probably was for Heidi, too, I'm only speaking on my own behalf here). We launched a new Small Group.

In short, a Small Group is a group of people who commit to share life together with the purpose of moving closer to Jesus. It's a place of safety and transparency and growth. Over time, these relationships often become the core relationships in a person's life.

That's what happened for me in New York. Several young couples set out together to shafe life in a Small Group. At that beginning point, I had a vision of what could be when people take their commitment together seriously. And that group of people became the core friendships of my life. You've read about them many times here...and the pain we've felt in leaving them to move to IL.

Tonight begins another chapter. I can't pretend to know for sure what it's going to look like. But I have high hopes for this group of friends...people who are willing to embark on a risky adventure with us. I'm thankful that they are willing to create a place where I am just Matt (not Pastor Matt). I'm thankful that they are willing to share their life with me. I'm thankful that they will help me become more like Jesus.

It feels a little like a first date after a breakup. It's a bit scary and intimidating. But also dynamic and fresh and alive. I guess that's the good stuff of life.

This new group of friends doesn't diminish the significance of our New York group. It's just another opportunity that God has given me to add to the circle of those who walk closely with me. A gift.

Thanks, guys. The first date is done. And onward we go...

Peace,

M@

frisbee...

This morning I was running a bit late...at least later than I wanted to be. After going to the gym (stop snickering), I got cleaned up and was heading out the door to get a jump on the day.

Thinking that he was going for a ride, Izak put himself into his big, red winter coat and was ready to go with Daddy. Nope...not today, son. But you can go play in the back yard.

That seemed to do the trick. He ran out the back door and grabbed the blue frisbee from the patio. As I hurried around the kitchen, picking up the trail of things that I try to keep out of reach, I saw him standing in the back yard by himself, holding the frisbee.

Frisbee is a two-person game.

So I was a little late getting to the office today...

I'm a pretty task-oriented guy. I like to win. I like to work hard...sometimes too much. Once in a while, it's good to stop and play a little frisbee with a toddler who thinks I'm great...

Love that kid...

Living Generously...

Ever have a hard time buying a gift for that special someone who has everything? Once they have the iPod, there's nothing left to get them! For some different ideas on what it means to live generously, check out the link to the right

www.livinggenerously.com

Peace,

M@

bullet points...

Here are just a few things that I think:

- I think Heidi is having a great time working outside of the house. She was out for a short-shift again today.

- I think I enjoy my time with my kids. I love those little critters...

- I think I stink at picking winners in sports. And I think it stinks that the Pats are out of the post-season. That's football, Mom!

- I think it's been a pretty incredible year since we moved to IL. Tough. But a great year!

- I think...never mind...I really don't.

Good night.

M@

I was wrong...

...my whole understanding of end times theology is incorrect. The end is near. The signs are becoming more and more clear. What turned this corner for me? It wasn't air-tight argumentation from my dispensational friends...

the Pats lost...the end is near...

M@